Through the eyes of a Traitor part 1
by Tinyniel
Summary: During the rise of Voldemort, a Gryffindor and a Slytherin experience just how hard it can be to be in love. Please R&R. Chapter 13 FINALLY! up
1. Just ask the lonely

Through the eyes of a traitor. Part I 

Disclaimer: Save the plot and a few characters, all this belongs to the wonderful JK Rowling *bows before Jake and kisses her feet* I ain't makin' no money, so there ain't no point in suin' me. 

AN: I've started revising this fiction, tying up the lose threads and such. If things don't make sense, you've probable finished reading the revised chapters and hit un-revised ones:) 

Chapter one – Just ask the lonely

Severus Snape could feel her eyes in the back of his neck, and he didn't like it. He tried instead to focus on the cauldron in front of him, and its purple, bubbling brew. But it was no use. Why did she insist on staring at him throughout ever class? Had Sirius used one of his clever spells to attach a note to his back again, like last year? No, that couldn't be it. Lily wouldn't be the only one staring then. There would be collective giggling all through the classroom.

But all the same, he wished she wouldn't stare. It made him feel uncomfortable. And, to no surprise, it affected his concentration he realized as the knife he was using to cut wormwood slipped and made a nasty gash in his finger. He uttered a few inaudible words unfit for use in class, trying to ignore Lucuis Malfoy and snickering sidekicks at the next table. 

"I do not recall human blood being on the ingredient list, Severus."

His classmates let out a unanimous snort. Severus looked up at his professor. 

"Accident," he muttered, trying to wipe the blood off the desk with his sleeve.

"Let us hope you restrain yourself from any further 'accidents'," Professor Avery said coldly, removing the blood with a swish of his wand. 

"And," he added in a more casual tone, "you should go see Madame Nitgale about that cut. Wormwood can be somewhat poisonous…" 

Severus didn't argue. Now that the entire class was aware that he had made a mistake, any excuse to get out of it was welcome. Still, he packed slowly, pretending nothing was wrong, and left without meeting a single eye. Especially not **hers**.

*

Lily Evans returned her attention to her cauldron, silently fuming. She furiously disapproved of the way Professor Avery treated Severus, but there was nothing she could do about it. For one, it would be the safest way to get on Avery's bad side, and that was not somewhere you wanted to be. And secondly, it was also the safest way of having the entire student body of Hogwarts believing, within hours, that Lily Evans had a crush on Severus Snape. Which was a lie, but who would believe that? What she would hear from Sirius alone was enough to put her off the idea, however cowardly that was.

Severus himself wasn't going to say anything either. He wasn't the type. Or, it was hard to determine what kind of type Severus Snape was. He didn't really offer much, if any, of himself. All she knew for certain about him was that he was good at school, particularly Potions. That was why Avery cherished the very few times Severus made a mistake. Ever since Severus had corrected him on a receipt for a Mood-raiser potion in their third year, Avery had treated Snape like air. Foul-smelling air he would rather not have in his classroom. 

Not that it mattered much to Snape. It seemed nothing mattered much to him. Outside the only two classes Lily had with him (Potions and Transfiguration), she never saw him anywhere. He wasn't present at school events such as Quidditch matches and Hogsmede weekends, nor could he be found in the halls. On rare occasions she would spot him in the library, but he was always alone and in a corner, and if he noticed her looking at him, it usually didn't take long for him to leave. 

She had never seen him smile. Nor had he ever said a word to her. Never even met her eye. She had no reason what so ever to care about him even in the slightest. But she still did. It wasn't a crush. You couldn't base a crush on so little. And his physical appearance wasn't exactly appealing either, with his long, crooked nose, greasy hair and almost sickly pale complexion. Still, there was something unexplainable. Something intriguing. There had to be more under there somewhere, no one could be so (apparently) emotion-less, not even Snape…

*

Glad to find the halls empty, Severus cursed as he climbed the stairs to the hospital wing. It had been a utterly foolish mistake. But, it hadn't been his fault, he decided. It had been Lily's fault. If she could just learn to concentrate on something other than his back, maybe they'd both do better in class.

It wasn't entirely true, of course. He knew very well that mistakes were scarce in his work. But scarce wasn't good enough. If you wanted to be the best (and he did), you couldn't make mistakes. Not even one. But when he did, it helped having someone to blame. 

What little pleasure Professor Avery got from spotting his mistake, he didn't care about. It wasn't Avery that motivated him. And he knew he was safe. With his record, there was no way his professor could give him anything but top marks, regardless. 

It wasn't his classmates either. Save James and his gang, most of them were mediocre dunderheads who were lucky they could tell their cauldron from a common casserole. Even now, in their sixth year and despite the fact that their OWLs had singled out the most brainless ones last year, there was seldom a potions class without and explosion of some sort. Most commonly, from Sirius Black's cauldron. Not that Sirius was stupid, much as Snape hated to admit it. But, after being showered in some incomplete attempt at a sleeping draft in their third year, Sirius had learned that if you played the wounded man, girls dropped like flies. Snape suspected most of Sirius' explosions were far from accidental.

*

Madame Nitgale was the student nurse, and a little too kind for her own good. She fussed enormously over any little wound, and most students almost wished they would come down with something so they could spend the night in the hospital wing. 

"What happened, dear?" she asked Severus while attending to his hand. 

"Cut it chopping wormwood," he said shortly. 

"Oh dear," Madame Nitgale exclaimed. "Well, you'll have to have some Ervum potion, I'm afraid. Wormwood can be poisonous. But don't worry dear, you'll be all right I'm sure. Maybe you should stay here over the night, just in case. Let me keep any eye on you." 

Severus nodded. It wasn't a tempting offer, but he knew from past experience that arguing with Nitgale was pointless.

"Now, this tastes rather bitter," Madame Nitgale warned him, handing him a vial of some dark green liquid. He drank it quickly, trying to ignore it's sickening taste. 

"There we are," she said, patting his arm and smiling in a childish way that made Severus wonder if she was going to offer him a chocolate frog for his efforts. "Now, I'll ready a bed for you. Can I get you anything?" 

He shook his head, and Nitgale smiled brightly before hurrying off to find him a bed.

An hour later he was tucked into a bed under one of the windows. Madame Nitgale rushed in and out every two minutes, making sure he had everything he needed. ("Water, dear?" "Perhaps something to eat…" "Pumpkin juice?") Severus was on his last nerve when her head popped through the curtains again. 

"I don't need anything," he said harshly, but Madam Nitgale just smiled. 

"You have a visitor," she said. "Shall I send her in?" 

Severus was utterly baffled. Who would be visiting him? He only nodded, and Nitgale disappeared. A few moments later, Lily Evans stepped inside the curtains surrounding his bed. She looked somewhat awkward. 

"I came to see how you were doing," she said hesitatingly, keeping a few steps away from his bed. "That cut looked quite nasty." 

"I'm fine," he said shortly. 

What was she doing here? 

There was silence for a few minutes before Lily spoke again 

"Does it hurt much?"

"No, I actually like cutting my fingers," Severus muttered with a touch more sarcasm than he had intended. 

Lily shifted uncomfortably, suddenly very focused something on the floor.

"Look," he said wearily. "You don't want to be here, and frankly I don't want you to be here either. So why don't you just do us both a favour and leave?" 

Lily looked up and gave him a blank stare. Without a word, she turned and left.

Why had he been so cross with her? She was only trying to be nice after all. 

'Is it really any wonder you don't have any friends?' a little voice in his head asked, but he ignored it. He was different. That was why he didn't have friends. 'They don't understand me,' he tried to tell it, but only got a snort in return.

*

The only indication of just how angry Lily was, was the determination of her paces. She was walking through the halls back to the Gryffindor common room, trampling harder with every step. 

"Stupid, selfish git," she muttered to herself. 

Where did he come off treating her like that? She had only tried to be nice to him, he had no right to chase her out of there. It suddenly made sense why he appeared not to have friends now. Who the hell would put up with that? 

Sirius Black broke her chain of thoughts as he jumped out from behind a statue, scaring the living daylights out of her. 

"'Ello darling," he teased, trying to sneak a kiss. 

She pushed him off. 

"I'm not in the mood for you today, Sirius," she said, brushing past him. 

But he wasn't shook that easily. 

"What's the matter, darling?" 

Sirius called every girl in school darling, sadly to the enjoyment of most of them. Lily knew Sirius, and therefore didn't swoon that easily. 

"Nothing," she said, firmly removing the hand he had flung around her waist. 

"Saw you come out of the hospital wing," Sirius remarked, sounding remarkably like Peeves in one of his more annoying moods. "As far as I know, Severus Snape is the only one there at the moment." 

"And?" Lily asked casually. 

"Oh nothing," Sirius grinned. "Just never figured you to be the Florence Nightingale type, s'all." 

"It's called compassion, Sirius," Lily pointed out. "Look it up." 

"And since when do you have such strong _compassion_ (he emphasised the word) for Snivellus?" Sirius was clearly enjoying himself.

"I am I only one concerned with the fact that one of our fellow students was poisoned today?" Lily asked, and Sirius nodded. 

"If the student in question is Snape; yeah, I'd say you are." 

Lily just shook her head. 

"We aren't developing a little crush on him now, are we?" Sirius teased. 

"Thanks for the confidence," Lily said dryly. "I was worried. You saw the cut. So I went to check he was OK. For the first, and last time, believe me."

They had reached the portrait that covered the entrance to the Gryffindor common room. "Intentus," Lily said, and the picture swung open. 

"Now, if you excuse me Sirius, I have homework." 

"Oh, don't mind me," he said. "I'm invisible."

"If only," Lily smiled sweetly, and headed for the girl's dormitories, well aware he couldn't follow her there.

She was glad to find the bedroom empty, and flung herself onto her bed. Where did Sirius come off making accusations like that? Her, fancy Severus Snape? Couldn't be done. No one could fancy him, that was plain and simple. He was terrible. He was rude. In fact, she would go as far as to say he was obnoxious. And yet, she couldn't shake that feeling of curiosity she had about him. Why was he like that? 

"Forget it, Lily Evans," she said aloud to herself. "He doesn't want you to worry, so don't." 

She opened her Arithmancy book, and started reading without taking in a single word. 


	2. To sleep, perchance to dream

_AN: Disclaimers and stuff in chap one, chapter title taken from Hamlet and Chapter 2 now reviewed. That oughta cover it._

**Chapter 2 – To sleep, perchance to dream**

Severus didn't sleep much that night. He wasn't in pain, nor was the bed uncomfortable. He wasn't still beating himself up over messing up his potion either. To his own great annoyance, Lily Evans had been the only thing on his mind since her unexpected (to say the least) visit earlier. What had she wanted?

… well, that was an obvious answer; she had wanted to see how he was doing. And he had just thrown her out.

'But who's to say she was here on her own accord,' he thought.

Lily was friends with Sirius and James, and he wouldn't put it past them to find a way to torment him, even if he was in the Hospital Wing. But one piece didn't fit the puzzle; Lily being in on it. He remembered all too clearly the way she had stood up for him after the OWLs last year, and couldn't imagine why she would suddenly have gone over to "the dark side".

All the same, he felt bad about his previous rudeness, which both surprised and annoyed him. It wasn't like he wanted her there, she had done enough harm that day already, by far. He didn't even like her.

'What was there to like?' he thought. 'Just because she's pretty it doesn't.'

'Pretty, is she?' a little voice in the back of his mind interrupted.

'Of course she is,' he snapped at it. 'She's very pretty…'

Which was true. Fair enough, she was no siren, and she always insisted on keeping her hair in that ridiculous bun, which parts of it was far too short for so she always had tufts of hair falling in front of her face. He didn't know how often he had watched her… well, he hadn't exactly watched her. Glanced in her direction, more like. And seen her push the locks back behind her ears. And those eyes. Entirely too green, she was almost frightening. But still, she had an attractiveness about her. The way she carried herself, always with her head held high, even when Lucius or some other Slytherin would throw 'mudblood' after her in the halls.

No, Lily Evans was altogether something. Something far and beyond his reach.

'Then why did she come visit you?' The annoying little voice was back.

'Because someone probably put her up to it,' he replied and, ignoring any further comments, rolled over and attempted, not for the last time that night, to fall asleep.

Lily slept like a baby all night, despite having a very strange dream. Usually, her dreams consisted of nonsense she would remember little to nothing of when she woke the next morning. But this dream was different, and left her with a very vivid image that stayed with her all through breakfast, her morning classes and far into lunch. An image there was simply no use in trying to shake; Severus Snape. And herself. Kissing.

The very thought was appalling. She had tried to tell herself it was her visit to the hospital-wing that brought it on, that it was nothing to worry about. Only a very nasty coincidence. But that was useless.

"Are you ok?" her best friend Marianne asked during their Arithmancy class at the end of the day.

Lily usually did fairly well in that class, but this afternoon her calculations had been so off track that her parchment exploded in pure frustration.

"Fine," Lily muttered, wiping soot from her cheek. "Slept badly, that's all."

Severus was glad to find the common room empty when he came back from the hospital wing. Madam Nitgale had fussed for well over an hour that morning, and only agreed to discharge him if it meant he would go straight to his house and to bed.

"You poor thing, you've been through so much it's only fair you get a day off," she had insisted. "And I dare say you didn't sleep much last night, I heard you tossing and turning long past midnight."

And then, having checked his temperature for the fifth time that morning, she sent him off. Now he was standing in the dark, gloomy Slytherin common room looking forward to being alone for a while.

He ruled out sleep, since this was one of his very few chances to enjoy the common room in it's best state; empty. Instead, he sat down on one of the black leather couches, and stared into the fireplace. Sleep was too dangerous anyway. He might _dream_ again. He had last night, which was altogether strange as he couldn't remember ever having dreamt in his life before. This was why he studied Occlumency in his spare time; the things your mind allowed itself to imagine… Like he even _wanted_ to kiss Lily Evans.

'This is all Sirius' fault,' Lily thought as she sat in the library that afternoon, trying to do her potions homework. 'If he hadn't brought on those suggestions last night, I wouldn't have gone to bed with them in my head. And then I would have had one of my nice, nonsense dreams that I don't remember in the morning.'

Anything was better than this.

Suddenly she realised she was being watched. Snape sat in his usual corner, eyeing her. Deciding she didn't owe him anything after his rude behaviour last night, she pretended not to notice him.

'Just go over and tell her you're sorry.'

Severus was ignoring the little voice, which was now beginning to seriously annoy him. He didn't need to apologize. He hadn't done anything wrong. So, he had been a bit cross with her. If she couldn't take it, tough luck. Besides, she didn't much look like she was interested in getting an apology. Unlike the previous few times they had been in the library together, when she barely took her eyes off him, it now seemed she was completely unaware of his presence. Which was fine by him. Maybe he could get some work done for a change.

But knowing she was sitting across the room made concentration impossible. He wondered why he was letting this get to him. It had been a dream. That and nothing more. And the visit last night? Well, someone had clearly put her up to that… and he strongly suspected that someone to be Sirius Black. It was just the kind of this Black would do. The guy seemed to care nothing about how others came out as long as he got a good laugh out of it.

"Severus?"

He looked up. Lily was standing by the table.

"Yes," he snapped. A natural reaction whenever a fellow student addressed him.

"I just…" Lily started.

Severus gave her an impatient look, and she shifted nervously.

"What?" he asked harshly.

"I just…" she started again. It wasn't like her to be short for words.

"If you don't mind, I'm rather busy," Severus interrupted. "Unless you haven't noticed, not all of us can get through school with well-placed winks and smiles."

He regretted it the moment he said it. Half expecting her to explode, he was surprised at Lily's calm, cool reply;

"No, but I'm sure it would help if you were in fact able to smile."

She didn't say anything else, just turned on her heals and left the library.

'Now why did you say that?' the little voice asked. 'You know it's not true.'

"Shut up," Severus muttered[B1] .

"Taken up talking to yourself, Snivellus?"

Severus turned to face Sirius, who was wearing his usual devious grin.

"Sod off, Black," Severus muttered. "Haven't you got some fifth year girls somewhere waiting to have their robes charmed off them?"

Sirius wasn't listening. He pulled out his wand and pointed it at a chair in the corner.

"Accio," he said, and the chair shot through the air, missing several shelves by only an inch.

"Don't mind if I join you, do you?" he said, sitting down without waiting for a reply.

Severus looked up at him.

"I'm really not in the mood for you today, Black," he said. "Do you think you could reschedule whatever your about to say to a time when I've got less homework?"

"Now where would the fun be in that?" Sirius flashed a grin. "But this is important."

"Really?" Severus snorted, hardly believing Sirius was capable of saying anything even remotely important. "What have I done this time?"

He returned his attention to his book. Suddenly, it snapped shut inches from his nose. Severus jerked his head up.

"What was…"

"Leave Lily alone," Sirius hissed.

"Sorry?" Severus started.

"Leave her alone," Sirius said slowly.

Severus could hardly believe what he was hearing. Him, leave Lily alone? She was the one who was practically stalking _him_.

"I will if she stops showing up everywhere I turn." He smirked back at Sirius. "What's the matter Black? Jealous?"

"Lily's my friend," Sirius said calmly. "You are treating her like crap, and she doesn't deserve it. She's only trying to be nice. Leave her alone or I'll neatly re-arrange that excessively large nose of yours."

"Oooh," Severus said sarcastically. He was no stranger to threats.

"I'm not trying to be funny, Snape," Sirius said quietly. "Stay away from her."

He got up and shoved the chair back into a corner, causing a world of racket.

"As you were, Snivellus," he grinned and disappeared.

'I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hope he trips in that remarkably long nose of his. I hate him!'

Lily was again furiously making her way back to the Gryffindor tower, cursing Severus Snape.

'He's obnoxious. He's grumpy. He's ugly. He's an arse. He's…'

Why had she ever bothered with him? It wasn't like she had a reason to.

Against her own will, tears welled up in her eyes.

'And you're crying because of him,' she thought furiously.

Reluctant as she was to admit it, his words had hurt her. Sure, Lily was a top-grade student, but it did not come from "well-placed winks and smiles." It came from hard work. She'd spent every summer holiday since she started Hogwarts studying. It wasn't like she had any friends. Her sister Petunia had put an effective stop to that by telling all the kids in their street that Lily would turn them into frogs. It wasn't true, of course, but try telling that to terrified 11-year-olds. And even if that was years ago now, most of her old playmates now regarded her more of a freak, and wanted nothing to do with her. So Lily had plenty of time during her holidays to bury herself under truckloads of books, hence her good grades.

She turned a corner, and headed up the last flight of stairs to the tower. All she wanted was to throw herself onto her bed where she could continue to curse Severus in peace. As she neared the portrait, James Potter came out of the common room. Lily quickly wiped her eyes, hoping he wouldn't notice.

"Lily, hi!" he called, hurrying over to her. "I was just off to train some quidditch. You wanna come?"

'Not unless it involves Snape and a pair of unusually nasty Bludgers.'

"I'm sorry, I can't," she apologised. "Too much homework"

James looked slightly disappointed.

"Some other time, maybe?" she said, only to cheer him up and his eyes lit up a little.

"OK," he said. "See you later, then?"

"Of course," she assured him.

Rumour (that being Sirius) had it that James Potter had quite a crush on Lily. Lily herself refused to believe it, for the most part because it came from Sirius. In the five years she had known him, she could count with the fingers on one hand how many times he had told the truth. Besides, they had been friends since their first year. Surely if James was in love with her, he'd have acted on it by now.

James bumped into Sirius on his way to the quidditch field.

"Have you seen Lily?" Sirius asked, and James nodded.

"Yeah, just a second ago. She looked a bit… off."

Sirius cursed.

"What did you do this time, Padfoot?" James asked, glaring accusingly at Sirius.

"Me? Nothing," he protested. "Why do you always have to think that if something is wrong I'm behind it?"

James arched an eyebrow and Sirius grinned.   
"OK, don't look at me like that," he said and, resuming a more serious tone, continued; "I overheard Lily have a little chat with Snivellus in the library."

"Snape?" James asked in disbelief, and Sirius nodded.

"Yep. Or she was trying to anyway. Snivellus did most of the talking, truth be told. He practically called her a suck-up."

James' brown eyes flashed.

"No wonder she was crying," he said furiously.

"She was crying?!" Sirius interrupted.

James nodded "Snape better not let me get a hold of him."

"I've already threatened to fix his face if he doesn't leave her alone," Sirius said. "I'd be more worried about her staying away from him, if I were you. Looks like you might have competition."

"Don't know what you're talking about," James dismissed.

"I'm not kidding here James," Sirius said quietly. "This is not one of my plots to get you to admit that you fancy her. I can see that clear enough for myself. I'm just saying that if you really want her, now might be a good time to do something about it."

James smiled, and put a hand on Sirius shoulder.

"Thanks for the tip," he said, "but I assure you I have no interest whatsoever in "getting" Lily Evans. See you later."

He disappeared down the hall, and Sirius watched him go.

"Idiot," he muttered, and headed for Gryffindor Tower.

"Lily, what's the matter?"

Lily jumped at the sound of Marianne's voice. She had just thrown herself onto her bed, expecting to be alone as usual.

"Nothing," she assured her friend, wiping her eyes. "Just tired."

"Yeah right," Marianne dismissed, sitting down on the bed. "Is it James?"

"Why the hell would it be James?" Lily asked in astonishment, forgetting her anger for a moment.

"Well, you know…" Marianne hesitated. "I just figured."

"Oh, for heaven's sake," Lily exclaimed. "How many times do I have to tell you? James and I are not together, we're just friends."

"But Sirius," Marianne started.

"Sirius Black lies like a rug," Lily interrupted. "If I were you I wouldn't believe a word he says."

Marianne blushed, and Lily rolled her eyes.

"And especially not if he says stuff like that."

Her friend just shrugged.

"I happen to think he's cute," she said.

"Yes, you and every girl in school," Lily pointed out. "And boy does he know it."

"So, what's wrong then?" Marianne asked, ignoring Lily's comment.

"Nothing," Lily sighed. "Just something Severus said. Never mind, I was stupid to let it get to me. Let's just play some chess or something."

The two girls seated themselves on the floor and began playing, Lily forcing herself to stop thinking about Severus.


	3. It's in his kiss

A/N: _OK, important note: It said in the first chapter that Severus was in his fifth year, but that was a spelling error. It's s'posed to be sixth year._

_Disclaimers and all that in chap 1. Chapter title taken from the "Shoop shoop song." _

Chapter 3 – It's in his kiss

She wasn't looking at him. She hadn't looked at him once during the whole period. He knew this for sure because _he_ hadn't taken his eyes off _her_. Severus sighed, for the first time turning his attention to the glass jar he was supposed to be transfiguring into a book-holder. He hadn't even started it. 

It had been a week since he had snapped at Lily in the library, and she had ignored him ever since. Not that he had made much of an effort to make her talk to him. Though Sirius Black had yet failed to make a threat that had actually scared Severus, there had been something in his eyes that afternoon in the library that made Severus think it best to do as he had suggested. He looked over at Lily again, and found himself wondering what she was thinking of. _Who_ she was thinking of.

*

He was looking at her again. She ignored him, and wasn't even looking in his direction. But she could still feel his cold eyes on her. Part of her wanted to turn around, meet his eye, but she was forcing herself not to. She'd had it. Besides, she wasn't quite sure how she would react if she did meet his eye. In the week that had passed, she had several times tried to convince her heart of what her mind was constantly telling her; There was no way Severus Snape was interested in anything but making her miserable, and it was about time she got her head out of the clouds.

*

Severus waited outside the room after class. Lily had stayed behind to talk to Professor McGonagall, and when she came out the door he pulled her aside. 

"I need a word," he said silently. 

"And what makes you so sure I'm going to give you one," she asked, looking coldly at him. 

'Because I'm trying to apologize here,' he though, but couldn't bring himself to say it. 

"I have other classes you know," Lily said impatiently. 

"I need your help," Severus blurted out, and Lily stared at him. 

"With what?" she asked. 

'Way to go,' he told himself. 'You'd better think fast now.' 

"Transfiguration," he said, taking the first thing that popped into his head. "I can't… it just doesn't make sense. And with the OWLs this year… You're the best student in the class." 

"Yes, I have a way with those winks and smiles," Lily said coldly. Severus sighed. 

"Look, I didn't mean that," he said quietly. "I'd had a bad day. I'm… sorry." 

Lily stared at him as if he had just told her he wanted to be a tap-dancer. 

"You don't have to give me that look," he snapped. "I'm not completely heartless, despite that seemingly being the general opinion." 

Lily was about to say sorry when she realised that after all the things he had said to her, he still owed her an apology or two himself. 

"You need help with Transfiguration?" she asked, changing the subject. Severus nodded. 

"Yes. Do you have time?" 

Lily hesitated. After the way he had treated her when she tried to be nice… Did he really deserve her help? And what would Sirius and the guys say? Sirius would never let her live it down. And, knowing Snape, it would be far from pleasant. But Lily had a hard time saying 'no' to people who needed help of any kind. 

"Yeah sure," she said. "When have you got time?" 

Her answer caught him a bit by surprise. He had expected her to say 'no', and rightly so after the way he'd behaved. 

"Tonight?" he asked, and she nodded. 

"Library. Be there at six." 

Before he had a chance to reply, she turned and walked up the hall. Severus watched her go, fiercely ignoring the little voice in the back of his head, which was now whistling cheekily.

'Brilliant,' he thought as he made his way to Rune studies. Now he had to think up ways to be utterly useless in Transfiguration. He was starting to understand why lying was a bad idea. But he couldn't back out now. Besides, he wanted to spend the afternoon with Lily… No he didn't. Aw, hell; yes he did. He was getting sick of arguing with himself. Yes, Lily was pretty. Yes, he liked her. And yes, he was hoping that she felt that way too. Not that he could figure out _why _he was getting his hopes up. 

'At least one good thing will come out of this,' he thought. He was sure it would annoy Sirius Black beyond limits that his precious Lily was voluntarily spending time with his archenemy. 

*

"Hey, Lily." James dumped himself down next to her at dinner. "Wanna reschedule that quidditch practice for today?" 

"I'm sorry, I can't," Lily excused, feeling bad about turning down his offer two days in a row. James looked rather hurt. 

"Don't tell me you have homework," he said disbelievingly. "It's Friday." 

Lily didn't think it was a good idea telling him she would be spending the afternoon with Severus Snape. 

"I've got to tutor someone," she said, piling mashed potatoes onto her plate. 

"Who?" James asked, and Lily shifted uncomfortably. 

"Lily, tell me," James urged, a funny tone in his voice. 

"Severus," Lily said quietly, hoping Sirius wouldn't hear it. 

"Grumpy!?" James almost shouted, and Lily hushed him. 

"Thank you, James. I was worried Hagrid wouldn't hear it all the way down in his hut," she said sarcastically, and James blushed. Lily looked over at Severus, but he didn't seem to know he was being discussed. 

"Why would you want to tutor him?" James asked. "I mean, of all people Lily." 

She shrugged. "He asked nicely." 

James just snorted. 

"Right," he said, sounding miffed. 

Only a few minutes later he left the table. Sirius looked over at Lily, and hurried after him.

*

James went out into the cold October air. He walked down to the lake, kicking pebbles as he went. 

"Bugger," he muttered to himself. "Bugger, bugger, bugger." How could Lily like Severus Snape? Of all people, why Severus Snape? James could have handled loosing her to someone like Sirius, or Remus. But Severus Snape?! 

'She doesn't necessarily have to like him though,' he thought. After all, Lily was nice to everyone. If Severus had in fact asked her nicely for help, something James strongly doubted he was capable of, the Lily that James knew wouldn't be able to say 'no'. 

'So that's it,' he thought. 'She just being her usual, nice, helpful, lovable Lily.' The thought cheered him up a little.

"Prongs!" 

Sirirus' shouting shook him from his thoughts. James turned, and Sirius caught up with him. 

"What was that hasty departure all about?" he panted. James shrugged. 

"I just needed air," he said. Sirius caught his eye. 

"I was right, wasn't I?" he asked. "She likes him, doesn't she?" 

"Who are you talking about?" James asked as casually as he could. Sirius sighed. 

"I don't get you, Prongs" he muttered, but James just laughed. "I don't get you either, Padfoot." 

*

"You're late," Severus remarked surly when Lily joined him in the library. She looked at her watch. 

"Oh, five whole minutes," she said sardonically, sitting down. "The wait must have nearly killed you." 

"I wasn't the one who set the time," he muttered, but Lily ignored him. 

"So, what's the problem?" she asked.

Severus had spent the entire day trying to figure out something he could have trouble with in Transfiguration, without it making him look like a complete idiot. He had failed, however, and now he was forced to improvise. 

"Today's lesson," he said, mentally crossing his fingers. But the look Lily gave him told him he had missed by a mile. 

"Severus, McGonagall taught us that charm in third grade," she said, astonished. "How the hell did you get this far without ever learning it." 

'Damn!' he thought, making a mental note never to lie again. 

"If you're going to be patronizing, I can get help elsewhere," he snapped, and Lily sighed. 

"I'm sorry," she said softly. "The pressure of the OWLs is getting to you, am I right?" He nodded, wondering why he hadn't come up with that excuse. 

"Right then," Lily said, opening her book. "Page 35." 

Severus tried not to look at her too much. He had discovered that wasn't a good idea after he had tried to keep eye contact while she explained a charm to him, and she had ended up having to repeat it because he hadn't caught a single word she was saying. It was those eyes. You couldn't look into those eyes without loosing yourself. 

"Severus?" He looked up. 

"Are you even listening to me?" Lily snapped, getting up from the table. "I'm getting a book, I'll be right back. I suggest you finish reading that page, you've been staring at it for ten minutes." She disappeared into the section about Animal Transfiguration, and Severus cursed. Why couldn't he behave like a normal human being for once? 

Severus looked around the library. They seemed to be alone, though he wouldn't be surprised if Sirius was hiding behind a bookshelf somewhere. It would be just like him, using any means to make a fool out of Severus. Or anyone else for that sake of matter. But Severus had trouble believing that Lily would be in on it. Unlike the rest of James Potter's little gang, Lily was never part of whatever mayhem the other four came up with.

Maybe this wasn't one of Sirius' little pranks. Maybe Lily was actually doing this because she wanted to. And what about all those times he had caught her looking at him in class. Could she really be interested? He was beginning to believe so, ignoring the warnings in his head. But he needed to know for sure. Prepared to make a complete fool of himself, he got up and went after her.

"Lily?" She jumped at the sound of his voice, and turned to look at him. 

"There's something I've got to do," he said quietly. "But I need you to promise that you won't hit me." At first, Lily just stared at him in disbelief. Then she laughed. 

"I'm not the violent type, Severus," she assured him. "Go on then." 

He hesitated. If this was indeed one of Sirius' little schemes, he might as well go straight to his room, pack his things and leave Hogwarts because he would never live it down. But if he was right… Lily looked curiously at him. 

"Severus?" she asked carefully. "What is it?" 

He didn't answer. His courage had begun to fail him. 

"No, never mind," he said, turning to walk away. Lily grabbed his hand, and he turned back to face her. 

"Tell me," she said.

Lily tried to stifle her shudders. She hoped to God she was right, that he was really trying to… 

"Lily," he whispered, and she closed her eyes. Slowly, he leaned over and kissed her gently. She put her arms around him, pulling him closer. Carefully, he put his arms around her too.

'I'm kissing Grumpy,' Lily thought. 'If anyone sees us now…' She suddenly realised where they where they were standing. 

"Severus," she whispered, pushing him away. He looked disappointed. 

"I'm sorry," he said, letting go of her, but she just shook her head. 

"Come here," she said, and dragged him further into the section. They found a secluded corner, and Lily pulled him towards he again. 

"For future reference," she whispered, "if you're going to kiss me, make sure it's somewhere a little less public." 

He smiled, and it occurred to Lily that it was the first time she had ever seen him smile. She 

was about to tell him that he should do it more often when he kissed her again. 

"You're not worried about your OWLs, are you?" she whispered.

"What makes you say that?" he asked.

"We had them last year," Lily smiled. Severus went flushing red.

Neither of them knew how long they stood back there, and they both jumped at the sound of madam Pince's voice declaring that the library was about to close. They hurried back to the table. 

"Do you have time tomorrow?" Severus asked as they were gathering up their books. 

"Yes, certainly," Lily said stiffly, looking suspiciously around her. Severus smiled. 

"Relax," he whispered. "We're alone." He threw a glance in the direction of Pince's office, and when he saw that the door was closed he pulled Lily into his arms and kissed her. 

"Severus, if anyone sees us," she whispered, and he sighed. 

"I know," he said, letting go of her. "We have to keep it a secret, for obvious reasons." 

"We do," she said quietly. "If Sirius and James find out about this… they'll accuse you of having fed me some kind of black magic love potion or something." Severus smiled. 

"And if Lucius Malfoy finds out he'll have me kicked out of Slytherin."  

'Which doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing,' he thought to himself. 

They were restrained from any further discussion on the subject when Pince showed up and practically chased them out. 

The halls were empty, but Severus still didn't dare take Lily's hand. He half expected someone to jump out from behind something, take one look at them and _know_. Lily, it seemed, felt the same way. She was looking nervously around her, jumping at every sound. 

They parted in the entrance hall. 

"When tomorrow?" Lily asked, and he shrugged. 

"Eleven?" he suggested. 

"Sounds great," Lily agreed and, looking quickly around her, pecked him on the cheek. "I'll see you." She turned and hurried down the hall before he had time to reply. Severus watched her go, a slight smile on his lips. 

*

The fat lady gave Lily a disapproving look when she neared the portrait. 

"I was in the library," Lily tried to excuse, but it didn't seem to have much of an effect. She muttered the password, and hurried inside.

James was sitting on the sofa, his owl Bartus perched on his arm. He was reading a letter, and didn't seem to have heard Lily come in. 

"James," she said carefully, and he jumped. 

"Oh, Lily. You scared me," he said, attempting a smile. 

"What's the matter?" Lily asked, sitting down next to him. 

"Nothing," James tried to assure her, but Lily wasn't fooled. 

"James, tell me." 

He sighed. "My uncle, he's... ill. They don't think he's going to make it." Lily hugged him. 

"James, that's terrible," she whispered. "I'm here if you need to talk you know." 

"I know," he guaranteed her. "I'm fine, don't worry… How was studying with Grumpy?" Lily shrugged. 

"I wouldn't go as far as to call it pleasant, but considering the fact that we're talking about Severus Snape it wasn't so bad." She wondered how she could stay so calm talking about it, when just the thought of his face made her stomach fill with butterflies. 

"He behaved himself then?" James asked, and she nodded. 

"Good," he said. "If he ever gets _un_pleasant, let me know OK." 

"Thanks James," she smiled, getting up. " But I think I can handle him. Goodnight."

*

Severus lay in bed, listening to his roommates snore. Adrian Goyle was the worst. No matter how many Anti-Snoring spells they had tried, it had no effect on him. Severus wasn't bothered by it tonight, though. 

'If only they knew,' he though, smiling. If only they knew that Severus Snape, their favourite verbal punching-ball, had gotten Lily Evans. But he couldn't tell them, of course. He could hear Lucius Malfoy all to clearly; 

"A mudblood? And I thought you couldn't sink any lower." 

He turned over, and closed his eyes. He didn't want to think about the problems they would encounter. Not now… not yet…

***

Yes, I am well aware that I stole the 'Bugger, bugger, bugger'-line from '4 weddings'…This time I am not implying when I might have the next chapter up, because I can't stand having dead-lines when I write, no matter how flexible they are…

_Next chapter? Well, sneaking around, dilemmas… and a bit more snogging…*evil grin*_


	4. Just you and I

Yes yes, I know. I'm sorry. At least it's here now, eh…Pay no heed to the chapter title, I was totally stuck. It's from Westlife's "Swear it again." Reviews still welcomed with open arms… 

**************************

Chapter 4 – Just you and I

*****************************

Lily got up early the next morning. She dressed quickly, and hurried down to the Great Hall. Most of the students were still in bed and as she had hoped, James was one of them. She was sure he would ask her about quidditch again today, and she did not want to tell him (again) that she was tutoring Severus Snape. 

She sat down at the practically empty Gryffindor table, and started buttering a piece of toast. Looking over at the Slytherin's table, she saw Severus sitting alone almost at the end. She tried to give him a slight smile, but he didn't even look up at her. A second later she realised why, as Lucius Malfoy joined the table, only a few seats away. 

There weren't many people Lily would go as far as to say she hated, but Lucius Malfoy was definitely one of them. He was without doubt the most unpleasant human being there was, though he did not seem to be aware of it himself. He walked around like he owned the school (which he could have with the amount of money his father had), flirting with anything in a skirt. If his girlfriend, Narcissa, had not been equally unpleasant, Lily would have felt truly sorry for her.

Lucius was also deeply interested in the Dark Arts. Lily had often heard him complain about them not learning more dark magic, and how he wished his father had sent him to Durmstrang, another wizarding school. Lily wished his father had sent him there too.

Lily finished her breakfast faster than usual, and hurried back to her dorm to collect some books. Her roommates had started getting up now, but thankfully no one asked her where she was going with books this time of day on a Saturday. She made it through the common room without any inquiries about where she was going and as soon as she was out in the hallway she made for the library, using a less known path that Sirius had taught her. 

It was only half past eight when she walked through the door, and Madam Pince gave her an astonished look. Lily just greeted her with a bright 'good morning'-smile, and hurried over to a table in the corner. Now all she had to do was wait.

******************************************************************

"Snape." Severus looked up. He was back in the Slytherin common room, waiting for it to be eleven o'clock. Lucius Malfoy was standing in front of him. 

"Lucifer," Severus said. Malfoy smirked, as he always did. That was the trouble with him; you never knew if he had taken the joke, or if you were about to be badly hexed. 

"Funny today," Lucius smiled, joining Severus at the table.  

"Always," Severus muttered. "How may I help you today?" His voice was dripping with sarcasm. Lucius' smirk disappeared, and he leaned closer to Severus. 

"I hear you've been disgracing our house," he said quietly, his eyes fixed on Severus, who tried to look genuinely surprised. Lucius didn't buy it, though. 

"Keeping with a mudblood, Snape," he said, disgusted. 

"Improving my grades, more like," Severus assured him. "Mudblood or not, she _is_ top of the class." Lucius still looked suspicious. 

"Oh c'mon. Do you really think I would stoop that low?" Severus asked, forcing a laugh. It sounded false. 

"I hope not," Lucius whispered. He patted Severus' copy of 'Most potente Potions'. "You have a future there, Severus. I suggest you don't ruin it." 

Severus was tempted to ask what he meant, but Lucius had already joined Adrian Goyle and Igor Crabbe who were practicing Crutio on a couple of spiders.

Severus glanced at his watch. He was meeting Lily in fifteen minutes. Not feeling much like staying in the common room, where he felt certain everyone could read his mind, he fetched his books and made for the library.    
'Mudblood,' he thought. He had grown up with that word. His family could be traced back through generations of wizards, something his living relative took great pride in. 

"The worst thing you can do to this family, Severus," his uncle had told him once, "is marry a mudblood." Severus had been eight at the time. 

He had grown up believing in all of it. Purebloods being better than muggle-borns, or even half-bloods. It was probably the only reason he had been put in Slytherin. He didn't feel like he possessed too many of Salazar's other favoured abilities. And he had quickly learned that how much of a pureblood you were, didn't matter much if you didn't fit in otherwise. He had still kept his pride, though. He has still managed to convince himself that he _was_ better.

But Lily. She had changed it all so fast. In a matter of weeks, even days, he had found himself wondering why it all mattered. Just thinking about her, all the values he had grown up with seemed so unimportant. Lily was just as good a witch as any. Even better than some. Why should her blood matter?

He knew the answer, of course. He knew his family, and his housemates, would shun him. His mother, though seeming pleased, would be heartbroken. Her only son, ruining the family bloodline.

He reached the library, and forced himself to stop thinking about it. He didn't know why he was thinking this far ahead at all. It wouldn't last, he should know that. 

He glanced nervously around him, half expecting to see Lucius behind him. But he was alone, and he relaxed a little before he pushed the doors open.

"You're late," Lily remarked. He was about to snap back at her when she looked up, smiling. 

"Making up for yesterday," he said, smiling back. 

"You should do that more often," Lily remarked. 

"Make up?" he asked, teasing. Lily just rolled her eyes. 

Severus sat down, looking suspiciously around. 

"You can relax. We're alone," Lily assured him. "Pince is the only one here, and she's been in her office all morning." Just to make sure, he cast a glance in the direction of the librarian's office. The door was shut. Lily reached over and took his hand, and he pressed it. 

"How long have you been here?" he asked. 

"All morning," Lily sighed. "Since I left breakfast." 

"Yeah, sorry about that," Severus muttered, but Lily just shook her head. "No need to apologise," she assured him.

The sound of the door opening made them both jump, and Severus quickly let go of her hand. Lily started ruffled through her book, pretending to be looking for a chapter. She cast a glance in the direction of the door, relaxing a little when she saw it wasn't anyone she knew, only a Ravenclaw third year called Rita Skeeter. She seated herself at a table not too far from them. 

'Damn,' Lily thought.

"I need to get a book," she said, getting up. Severus needed no further hints. 

"I'll help you look," he said, following her. 

They found the corner from the night before, and Severus pulled her close to him. 

"I've missed you," he whispered in between the kisses. Lily didn't reply, she was too busy savouring the feeling of being back in his arms. 

"Lucius gave me a bit of a questioning this morning," he continued. "I think we have to watch out for him." Lily just nodded. 

"I mean, he's always been out to get me," he whispered. Lily put a finger over his lips. 

"Severus," she said quietly. "You talk to much." He smiled, taking the hint, and kissed her.

********************************************************************************

It was nearly four when they left the library. They had spent the day changing between studying (that being passing each other notes) and "looking for books". But Pince had started eyeing them suspiciously after a while, and they had found it best to call it a day. 

"Walk me back?" Lily asked. 

"Does that sound like a good idea to you?" he asked. 

"I know a less know path," Lily said. "Sirius showed me." Severus hesitated. He had been worried that name would come up. Lily looked at him. 

"What is it?" she asked carefully. 

"Sirius," he started, and Lily nodded. 

"Ah. You think this is one of his schemes to make a fool of you." 

"No," he tried to protest, but Lily just smiled. 

"Yes you do." She glanced quickly around the hall, and pulled him behind a suit of armour. 

"I assure you," she whispered, her face close to his. "I am in no way one of Sirius' little servants. I happen to like you, believe it or not." He kissed her. 

"Promise?" he asked, and she smiled. 

"Trust me, Severus," she whispered, kissing him back.  

"Are we really supposed to be here?" Severus asked as they made their way down the narrow hallway that lead to Gryffindor tower. It looked like it had been abandoned for years. The suits of armour were slightly rusty, and creaked terribly as they turned their head to look at Lily and Severus. 

"Probably not," Lily said, "but that won't matter to you. Aren't all Slytherins natural born rule breakers?" The question earned her a slight smile. 

"It seems to be common knowledge that all Slytherins are evil," Severus said. 

"You're not," Lily remarked, slipping her arm around his waist. 

"You don't know that," he said quietly. "You haven't known me that long." 

"Maybe not," she whispered, pulling him closer. "But I have a good feeling about you." He smiled, and kissed her.

Something hissed, and Lily and Severus broke quickly apart.

"Mrs. Norris," Lily whispered. "We need to hide." Severus took her hand, and dragged her behind a drape. 

"Oh, good thinking. He won't find us here," Lily whispered, half desperate. She turned to the wall, and was amazed to see a door. Severus reached for the handle. 

"Wait," Lily said, stopping him. "What if it's not a real door? Or one of those doors that shriek. Or maybe it bites." She didn't get any farther as Severus kissed her. 

"You worry too much," he said, reaching for the handle again. The door slid open with a slight creak. 

"After you," Severus smiled, gesturing for her to enter. 

Lily walked into a tiny chamber with no windows. The only source of light was coming from Severus' wand. Lily took out her wand too, lighting it. 

"This must be an old office or something," she said quietly to Severus. There was an old wooden desk in the corner, a thick layer of dust on it, and two armchairs. Their covers had probably been velvet once, but now they were old, worn and dusty. A bookshelf stood up against a wall, containing only a few old and battered books. An old fashioned chandelier hung from the ceiling. Severus pointed his wand at it, and muttered 'Incarnum inflamare.' All six candles lit up, giving the room a warm glow, and revealing markings on the walls where paintings once had hung. 

"Look," Severus said, nodding towards a sofa and a fireplace in the corner of the room.

"Do you think Filch knows about this place?" Lily asked, looking nervously at the door. Severus had already lit the fire and was using a spell to remove the dust from the sofa. 

"Maybe," he said, levitating one of the pillows and shaking the dust off it in mid air. "Maybe not. We'll know soon enough." 

Lily walked over to the desk. The quill still stood in the inkwell, though there was no ink, and some parchment lay on the desktop. A key stood in one of the drawers. Lily turned it, and opened the drawer. She jumped as a large spider crawled out of it, making its way across the desktop. There wasn't much else in the drawer. More blank parchment, a half-burned wax stick and a seal. Lily picked it up. The pattern was hard to make out, but it seemed to form a G and a lion. 

"Godric Gryffindor," she whispered, putting it back down.

Severus came up behind her, slipping his arms around her waist. She startled a little. 

"Finding anything interesting?" he asked, resting his chin on her shoulder. 

"I think this might be Godric Gryffindor's old office," Lily said, showing Severus the seal. He examined it, and put it back down. 

"Probably," he said, kissing her neck. She turned, putting her arms around him. 

"I think Filch is gone," he whispered. "We're safe here. You don't need to be getting back anytime soon, do you?" 

"No," she smiled. 

***************************************************** 

"Marianne." She looked up from her book, startled. 

"James, don't ever do that again," she sighed. "You scared the crap outta me." 

"Sorry," James muttered. "You… you haven't seen Lily today, have you?" Marianne shook her head. 

"Not since this morning. She rushed out with some books. My best guess is the library." 

'Severus, again,' James thought, but kept it to himself. "Never mind, it wasn't important," he mumbled. 

****************************************************** 

"Do you think that watch is right?" Lily asked, pointing to a large grandfather clock in the corner. 

"I hope not," Severus smiled. "It says 'Time to go to class.'" Lily looked at her own watch. 

"Well, it is time to go," she said, trying to get up. Severus stopped her. 

"Not yet," he whispered. 

"I've been gone all day, people are probably worried," Lily said, getting up. "We can meet here again, can't we?"

"Assuming we're the only ones who know about this place, yeah" he nodded. He pulled out his wand and pointed it at the fireplace, muttering some words Lily didn't recognise. The flames extinguished. 

"How come you know all those spells?" Lily asked. 

"I help out at home," he said, using the same spell to put out the chandelier. The room became pitch black, and Lily felt his arms slipping around her waist. 

"I can't see you tomorrow," he whispered. "I've got an essay to do, and I don't think I'll get much work done around you." She found his lips, and kissed him. 

"You know where to find me," she whispered, slipping out of his grip and feeling her way to the door. "I'll see you."

************************************************************************

Hmmm, does Lucius remind us of anyone we know… Like father, like son you know… 

_Right, thank yous:_

**_All my reviewers_**_: Sorry to keep you waiting so long… Special thanks to _**_It_Gurl _**_for pointing out the eye thing. Will be fixed as soon as I get a chance, ta._


	5. Willows and Werewolfs

_A/N: Yes, I know. I'm sorry. It's christmas, I've been very busy. But no matter, it's here now. Thanks a bundle to all my reviewers! Chapter title taken from my own head, lol._

Chapter 5 - Willows and Werewolfs

It was one of those nights when Peter would rather have stayed in bed then snuck out. October had turned into November, bringing with it a chilling wind. Thankfully, the sky was clear and the stars were up, but that did not stop the air from being freezing.   
'At least it isn't raining,' he though, pulling his cloak tighter around him. It was too cold for rain anyway. The ground was almost frozen, and the lake showed signs of ice too.  
He hurried across the front lawn, still wondering how he had gotten out of the castle unnoticed, and how on earth he was going to get back in. But he knew he had to show. If he didn't, he would be in trouble.  
He was through the gate now and relaxed a little, marvelling at how easy it had been. Farther down the road was a large oak, and under it stood the figure of a man. "You are late," the man said when Peter neared him. His voice was the coldest Peter had ever heard. It felt like his blood froze. He shivered, moving closer.   
"I'm sorry," he started. "I had to be careful."   
"No explanation needed," the man said. "Just make sure it does not become a habit." Peter nodded hurriedly.   
"I understand you want to join us," the man said.   
"Yes, very much, sir," Peter said, trying to sound confident. Being around the man was making him nervous. And scared.   
"And you know what is expected of you?"   
Again, Peter nodded, and the man smiled slightly under his hood.   
"Very well," he said. "Then you are hereby one of us. I will contact you when you are needed. And I expect I do not need to tell you what will happen if you abandon me?"   
"Of course not, sir," Peter hurriedly said. The man only nodded as a reply, and Disapparated, leaving Peter cold and puzzled. 

*

Mondays were Lily's least favourite days. She started them off with double Potions, followed by two periods of Arithmancy. Then lunch and two hours of History of Magic. Her last two periods, Divination, were a relief. Lily liked Professor Trewlany, and Professor Trewlany liked Lily, mostly because Lily possessed "the inner eye", as the Professor put it. Lily preferred to call it a vivid imagination.  
But this Monday, Lily looked more forward to Potions. It was the only class she had with the Slytherins, and her only chance to see Severus. She could only see him though, not talk to him or make any kind of contact. Sirius had spent the remainder of Saturday and all of Sunday teasing here about Snape, and she didn't want to fuel the fire.  
She sat behind Sirius and James in Potions, and caught part of their conversation.   
"I'm telling you Prongs," Sirius whispered, "it'll be the prank of a lifetime. And it'll teach the git to leave… certain matters alone."   
"I don't know," James whispered. "It's pretty dangerous. What if he gets hurt?"   
"He's always going on about how he can hex me in a hundred ways if I don't leave him alone," Sirius shrugged. "Let's see him prove it."   
"Don't do it Padfoot," James ordered silently, but Sirius just smiled.   
"And I know just the bait to reel him in with," he said quietly, turning to his cauldron.  
'Teach who to leave what alone?' Lily thought. She wanted to ask Sirius, but was distracted when Jonathan Wood's potion boiled over, burning it's way through his desk. Amidst the chaos that followed, Lily allowed herself a quick glance in Severus' direction. He was still working, stirring his potion with full concentration. The commotion around him did not seem to affect him at all. She wondered how he did it. He had this way of shutting everything out, no matter what.  


*

'Stop staring,' Severus thought desperately. He knew Lucius was keeping an eye out for any kind of signs, and Lily was giving out the best there was. He glanced over at Lucius, and relaxed a bit when he saw that he was busy with his potion. Clearly, Wood's little accident had scared him into paying attention to it.  
He looked over at Lily, but she was working on her potion again. She had her hair up in a bun, but a couple of strands of it had escaped and were falling down in front of her face. She looked beautiful, and Severus had trouble tearing his eyes away from her. He did however, when he realised he was being watched. He turned his head slightly, meeting James' eye.   
'What's the matter, Potter? Jealous?' he thought triumphantly, smirking at James and returning his attention to the potion.  


*

The days passed, and Severus and Lily had no time to spend with one and other. It seemed whenever they tired to make some kind of contact Sirius would show up. Or James. Or even Lucius. There was always someone around, almost making them wonder if the whole school was working against them being together.  
On Friday, however, Severus found a note in his Charms book.   
_'Meet me outside, tonight. 9 o'clock.'_  
It was not signed, but it couldn't be from anyone else than Lily. Besides, it was her handwriting.  
At a quarter to nine he fetched his cloak, and left the common room. No one asked where he was going, but that did not surprise him. They had not cared about him for five and a half years, why should they start now?  
The halls were gloomy and dark, and the portraits were mostly sleeping. The ones who weren't gave Severus disapproving looks. He tried to ignore them, but even though he had grown up in a house full of the same kind of portraits, they still gave him the chills. He was glad when he finally reached the oak front doors, and could slip quietly out into the night.  
The air was cold, and he pulled his cloak tighter around him. Why on earth had Lily wanted to meet him here, of all places? And at this hour? It was not like her, rule-obedient as she was. But, he thought, she probably had her reasons. And it had been too long since they had been alone together, which was what had, in the end, convinced him to go. He had been worried it might be someone's idea of a joke for a while, but wanting to see Lily had won over his paranoia.  
He jumped as the large doors creaked behind him. Quickly, he headed for the large tree next to the doors. He hid behind it, not sure if it was Lily or not. A second later he was glad he had; the doors opened and two figures emerged. One was Madam Pomfrey, an inturn nurse who was training to take over for Nitgale, and with her was… Severus had to blink. Remus Lupin?  
Remus was also in Severus' year. He was a pale, thin boy who seemed to constantly be away. Severus had never learnt why, and he had not bothered to ask either. Clearly, there was some sort of secret about Lupin that was not supposed to be commonly known.  
He watched Madam Pomfrey lead Remus towards the Whomping Willow, a large and rather fierce tree that had a nasty habit of trying to kill anyone who got near it. It had been planted the year Severus started, and had been a popular dare for the male students up until the point where Alan Backle had almost had his eye poked out by one of the branches. Since then Dumbledore had declared the willow off limits. Not that he needed to though. Most of the students did not dare go near it as it was. But Madam Pomfrey and Lupin was heading right for it.  
"Good evening, Grumpy," a voice whispered in his ear, and Severus spun around.   
"Black?" he hissed. "What the hell are you doing here?"   
"Could ask you the same thing," Sirius said, wearing his usual, irritatingly teasing smile. "But I won't bother since I know the answer." Severus shifted.   
"Hit a weak spot, didn't I?" Sirius triumphed.   
"Stop acting like a child, Black," Severus spat. "Now, did you want something? Or did you just sneak out here to see me? (he put on a fake smile) Maybe you've been leading all those poor girls on, and your door swings the other way."   
Anger flashed in Sirius' eyes.   
"Don't make me hurt you, Grumpy," he said as calmly as he managed.   
"Try, I dare you," Severus hissed.   
"I'm not here to fight you," Sirius said, though he was clenching his fists so hard his knuckles were white.   
"Then why are you here?" Severus countered.   
"Thought I'd let you in on a little secret," Sirius said, his devious smile back. "I take it you saw Pomfrey and Lupin."   
Severus nodded.   
"Well, guess where they went," Sirius grinned.   
"If you're trying to feed me some idiot story that they're having an affair or something, you've severely underestimated my intelligence," Severus snorted.   
Sirius just laughed. "Nothing like that, I assure you. You know the Whomping Willow, right?"   
Severus nodded again, wondering where this was going.   
"Well, what if I told you there was a tunnel underneath it?" Sirius said, now dead serious.   
"I'd say you where more mental than I first thought," Severus smirked.   
"Well, then I must be a total fruit cake, because there is a tunnel under it," Sirius said, lowering his voice. "And it leads out of the grounds."   
"Nonsense," Severus said. "You can't get near enough, unless you're telling me the entrance is somewhere in the middle of the lawn."   
"But what if I told you there's a way to stop the tree whacking you senseless," Sirius whispered. "Because there is. There's a little knot on the trunk, and if you press it, the tree freezes up."   
"You think I believe that?" Severus snorted. "You must think I'm an idiot."   
"Stating the obvious, but that's not the point here," Sirius said. "I would tell you where the tunnel leads, but since you're not interested I guess I'll just go back to bed." He yawned. "Night Grumpy."   
Severus watched him disappear around a corner. 'How stupid does he think I am?' he thought to himself. Tunnel under the Whomping Willow. He had always known that Sirius disliked him, but trying to get him killed was taking it a bit too far. A sound made him turn around, and to his great surprise he saw Madam Pomfrey emerge (seemingly) from under the willow. The tree was standing perfectly still, and did so until she had gotten almost up to the castle.  
Severus hesitated. If he went over there, found the tunnel… If he somehow solved the mystery of Remus Lupin, it might earn him some respect from his fellow housemates. And God knows he could use it. But he was an idiot if he trusted Black's information. The bugger was probably hiding somewhere, waiting for Severus to take the bait and get himself killed.  
He looked at his watch. Lily was extremely late. It was ten o'clock already, and he started getting worried. What if Filch had caught her?  
A cloud shifted, and the pale full moon appeared on the sky. Severus sat down against the tree. He hated to have to admit it, but Sirius had made him curious. Lupin had been a mystery to him for years. To everybody at school. It couldn't hurt if he had a look at the willow. He doubted he would get near enough anyway. And as for breaking school rules, he was already breaking enough to have him expelled as it was. One more couldn't hurt.  
Making up his mind, he threw a quick glance at the front doors, and started crossing the lawn.  


*

Lily yawned, looking up from the pattern of tarot cards on her table. It wasn't exactly homework, but she enjoyed Divination. She was not quite sure she believed all of it, but it was interesting none the less. She looked up at the grandfather-clock in the corner, which showed that it was ten minutes past "Shouldn't you be in bed?". Outside, the clouds had just revealed a full, pale moon. Lily looked down on the grounds, which were bathed in a soft, white light. Suddenly she saw someone sneaking across the lawn. The figure looked awfully familiar, but Lily had no chance of being sure from where she was standing. She reached into her bag, and picked up the pair of Omnioculars she always carried with her, and looked down at the figure, zooming in. Her suspicions were confirmed.   
'What on earth is he doing outside at this hour?' she though, staring. 

*

Severus stopped a little way from the willow. For the millionth time he wondered what on earth was making him trust Sirius Black. But by now his curiosity had long gotten the better of him. He picked up a long stick lying in the grass (probably left there by Pomfrey, he decided) and edged slowly closer to the tree. For a second he thought it was sleeping, but was soon proven wrong when a branch flung at him, missing him by only a few inches. Severus jumped back and looked around, half expecting to see Sirius somewhere, doubled up with laughter. But the grounds looked abandoned. He moved around the tree, not daring to go any closer. And then he saw it, far down on the trunk. A little knot, hardly noticeable if you did not know what you were looking for. Severus pressed it with the stick, nearly getting himself whacked by a branch in the process. The tree immediately froze up. Severus stared for a moment in wonder, but then he remembered that the effect was only temporary and he hurried closer to the tree. And indeed, there was a tunnel entrance, barely visible (and probably magical). For a moment Severus hesitated, but when one of the branches stirred he saw no other option and hurried into the tunnel.  
It was pitch black, apart from the little stream of light coming from the opening, and Severus got his wand out. He lit it, and looked around. The tunnel was full of roots and rocks, and he jumped as a rat sped past him, heading for the exit. Outside, he could hear the willow's branches swishing. Carefully, he started making his way along the corridor.  
It was dark and narrow, and the light his wand emitted was hardly enough. He kept tripping over rocks, and after banging his head against a root in the roof he found it best to hunch. The air was raw and cold, and Severus pulled his cloak tighter around himself. He was starting to wonder what the hell he had gotten himself into.   
He walked for what seemed like an eternity, minding his head and where he put his feet. He felt certain he was outside the Hogwarts grounds by now, and he was beginning to wonder just how far he had to go. Maybe this tunnel didn't lead anywhere at all. Maybe he would come to a dead end around the next corner. It would be just like Sirius, luring him into something like that. But, if the corridor lead nowhere, why had Madam Pomfrey taken Lupin down it?  
Suddenly he stopped dead. He was certain he had heard a growl. A second later his suspicions were confirmed, as he heard another one. He instinctively clutched his wand harder, and stood dead still, listening. There was a scratching noise, and a blood-freezing howl. It sounded an awful lot like a wolf, and a large one at that. Maybe even a werewolf. But why would Lupin?  
"Severus." He jumped and spun around to face James.   
"What are you doing here, Potter?" he hissed, trying to conceal how much James had scared him.   
"Saving your arse," James said. "We have to get out of here right now."   
"Oh really?" Severus smirked. "And why is that? Afraid I'm going to spoil one of your little secrets?"   
"Trust me," James said, grabbing his arm, "this is not one of those secrets you want to be in on. We need to get out of here now."   
Severus pulled his lose from of James' grip.   
"You go," he said. "I think I'll go explore. You've made me quite curious."   
Before James could stop him, he hurried around the corner. The hallway rose upwards into something that looked like an old house that someone had thrashed. There was a set of stairs in the middle of the room, and the sight that met Severus on top of them made him freeze. A large, grey werewolf was running towards them. It stopped at the top of the stairs, and spotted Severus. For a second it only stood there, then it gritted it's teeth at him, and charged down the stairs. Severus was paralysed, and could only watch as the large animal came running towards him. Suddenly James pulled him away, dragging him down the corridor. Severus resumed himself, and hurried after James. His heart was pounding in his chest, but he did not dare stop until he was back outside the Willow. He dropped himself down on the grass, panting.  
"Lupin," he stared. "He's a…"   
"Yes, he is," James said, reaching out a hand to help Severus up. Severus ignored it, getting up himself.   
"Now do you see why we had to get out of there?" James asked.   
"Convenient I should have gone down there in the first place, wasn't is?" Severus hissed.   
"Despite what you think, I had nothing to do with that," James said, rubbing some dirt of his hands.   
"Of course not," Severus said sarcastically. "James Potter never does anything wrong. He only comes to the rescue when someone else fucks up."   
"I just saved your life, Severus," James said calmly. "It would be nice if you were a bit thankful."   
"If it weren't for you and your little club, I wouldn't have been in danger in the first place," Severus said, brushing his robes.   
"You really are a bastard," James snapped. "If you hadn't stuck your excessively large nose where it didn't belong, you wouldn't have needed me to save you. I'm actually starting to regret it now."   
"Then why did you bother?" Severus said. "I'm sure it would have made your day, seeing me in trouble."   
"It would," James nodded. "But it would have ruined someone else's."   
Before Severus could ask him what he meant, James walked off.  
Severus sat down on the grass, trying to take in the night's events. All he had wanted was to see Lily, and he had ended up almost getting himself killed. He should probably not tell her about this, she would… Suddenly it hit him. Lily. She was in on this! She had been all along. How could he have been such an utter fool? _'Trust me, Severus.'_ Indeed. What on earth had he been thinking?  
He scrambled to his feet, and headed for the castle. As he neared the doors, they opened and a figure came running towards him. It was Lily.   
"Severus, what are you doing out here?" she panted, but he only rushed past her.   
"Severus? What's wrong?" She grabbed his hand, and he turned, pulling it back.   
"Stay away from me," he hissed. Lily stared at him in wonder.   
"Severus, what is it?" she asked.   
"You've had your fun, Evans," he said slowly. "Now leave me alone."   
"What the hell are you talking about?" Lily said, staring at him.   
"Take you long to plan it?" he asked, ignoring her. "I bet you've spent the better part of this term on it."   
"Severus, if you don't tell me what the hell you're on about," Lily started.   
"Don't act so innocent, Evans," he snapped. "It doesn't become you. Now, I wish I could say that I never want to see you again, but since we sadly have class together, I'll have to settle for never wanting to speak to you again. Run off to your little friends, Evans."   
He turned, heading for the castle again.   
"Severus, I honestly don't know what you're talking about," Lily said, despaired.   
"I hope it was worth it," he said without turning back. "Acting the part of a whore, all so Sirius could have his little joke."   
He didn't wait for her reaction, only left here there. Lily just watched him go, silent tears streaming down her face. 

*

_There you go then. Next chapter? Name-calling, Christmas and shocking news_


	6. Mudbloods and murders

MERRY CHRISTMAS, AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR 

  
***__

Chapter 6 – Mudbloods and Murders 

Lily didn't quite know how she had made it to bed that night. The last thing she remembered was Severus calling her a whore. She still had no idea what had brought it on. 

The next morning though, she got her answers. James pulled her aside, and told her what had happened the night before. Her reaction surprised both herself, and James.

"Why are you telling _me_ this, James?" she asked in amazement, and James stared. 

"I just… I thought," he started. 

"You thought what?" Lily asked. 

"I thought you and Severus were… well, you know…" 

"Together?" Lily laughed. "Really James, would I stoop that low?" 

Just as she said this, Lucius Malfoy passed them and gave James a pleased smirk. 

"That's right, Potter. She could do much better," he said, smiling suggestively at Lily. "Even if she is a mudblood." 

He hardly had time to finish the sentence before James' fist flung at him. Lucius failed to duck, and James hit him hard on the jaw. Lucius staggered backwards, his hand instinctively reaching for his mouth. He was bleeding. Lily was about to say something when a loud voice stopped her; 

"James Potter, what in Merlin's name are you doing?" 

The tree of them turned, only to see Professor McGonagall coming down the stairs, her lips pursed. 

"I demand an explanation this instant," she said, looking at James. 

"I'm sorry Professor," James said, "but he called her a mudblood. I couldn't help it." McGonagall turned to Lucius. 

"Is this true, Mr. Malfoy," she said. 

Lucius tried to smirk, but clearly found it to painful and ended up nodding carefully. 

"Well, none the less, it gives you no right to hit him, James. Ten points from both your houses, and I assure you, you will find yourselves in detention. Now clear off." 

Lily grabbed James' arm, dragging him away before he did more damage. 

*

Severus woke in a terrible mood that morning. Not only had he hardly slept at all that night, but he was still kicking himself for having been so foolish as to fall for Sirius' trick. He dreaded what would happen when people found out about it. As if the whole school wasn't laughing at him as it was…

On his way to the Great Hall for breakfast, he ran into Professor Avery. 

"Ah, Severus," he smirked. "The headmaster wants to see you. I understand you were out a bit late last night?" 

Severus sighed. He knew what was coming. 

"Where and when?" he asked wearily. 

"I think it's wise if we keep this incident quiet," Avery said, lowering his voice. "I mean, we can hardly afford to loose any more points to Gryffindor, can we?" 

Severus couldn't believe his luck, and watched Avery in amazement as the professor disappeared down the hall. 

'The spirit of a true Slytherin,' he thought.

He turned to go see Dumbledore when he heard the voices of the last two people he wanted anything to do with right now. Lily and James. Severus slipped into an empty classroom, and just in time as the two came around the corner. 

"I wish you hadn't done that," Lily said. "He's not worth it, and it's not like it's the first time he's said it." 

"Maybe he'll consider making this his last," James said, rubbing his knuckles. "Listen, I'm sorry if I insulted you about Severus. You've just seemed… well, you know." 

Lily smiled. 

"I'm helping him with Transfiguration," she said. "Nothing more, nothing less. I doubt Severus Snape is capable of having a decent relationship, and if he was I assure you I would be the last person who would want to be in it with him." 

The two passed the classroom, and disappeared down the hall. Severus leaned against the wall. Minutes ago he had been furious with Lily, but hearing what she had just said had turned him around completely. He had no idea a few simple words could hurt so much. It felt like someone had ripped his heart out and stepped on it. It would have been better if she had said that she hated him. Hate was a word he could live with. It was a word he was used to. Or, at least he thought he was. He hoped he never got to hear Lily say she hated him.

*

Severus had never been inside Dumbledore's office before, and looking around he kind of wished he had. The bookshelves were crammed full of books, and strange devises stood everywhere. A large, red phoenix sat on a perch behind the desk. Dumbledore was reading The Daily Prophet, but looked up when Severus entered. 

"Ah, Severus," he said, smiling. "Have a seat." 

Severus sat down nervously in the chair in front of Dumbledore's desk. 

"Now," the headmaster said, "tell me what happened last night. Your version."

 Severus hesitated. When he had awoken that morning, he had been ready to do just about anything to get back at Sirius. But after hearing what Lily had said, he suddenly found that he didn't really care anymore. He didn't want to get Lily into trouble. He knew she deserved it, the prank had been terrible. He could have been killed. But something inside him refused to let him blame her.

"Perhaps," said Dumbledore, breaking his chain of thoughts, "this has something to do with Miss. Evans?" 

Severus looked up, surprised, and Dumbledore smiled. 

"I know more about what goes on in this school than you can imagine, Severus," he said. "Now, this does have something to do with Lily, am I right?" 

Severus nodded slowly. Then he started telling Dumbledore what had happened the night before. Dumbledore listened attentively, nodding now and then. When Severus finished, he was silent for a while.

"I think you understand," Dumbledore said at last, "that what you saw last night is to be kept a complete secret." 

Severus only nodded slightly. 

"Remus is a good student," Dumbledore went on. "And we have never had any problems with this arrangement. It would be terrible to ruin it for him so close to graduation." 

"Of course," Severus agreed, half-heartedly. 

"And as for Miss. Evans," Dumbledore said, a slight smile crossing his lips, "I cannot believe that she has anything to do with this, but I will of course talk to her. Now, you must be starving. Off you go." 

*

Lily sat on her bed, staring blankly into the air. No wonder Severus was angry. She would have been furious herself. She _was_ furious, with Sirius. How dare he use her like that? The only reason she was not down in the common room yelling at him was that the last thing she needed on top of all this was Sirius finding out about her and Severus.

Severus. She still couldn't believe he had called her a whore. Sure, he had every reason to be angry, but shouldn't he trust her? Had she not told him he could trust her? But then again, what was her word to him? A Gryffindor, friends with his archenemies. He didn't even trust the people in his own house, why on earth should he trust her?

"Lily, why are you crying?" 

Marianne was standing in the doorway. 

"I am?" Lily asked, feeling her cheeks. She was. She hadn't noticed. 

"Oh, nothing," she said, wiping the tears away. "Just one of those days, you know." 

Marianne sat down on the bed. 

"I'm your best friend, Lily," she said, touching Lily's arm. "You know you can trust me. Tell me what's wrong." 

"I can't," Lily said quietly. "You'd never understand." 

"Try me," Marianne urged. "You haven't been yourself lately. You've been so secretive, acting like you're walking on clouds. And now all of a sudden you're crying. Tell me what's wrong." 

Lily remained silent. 

"I know it's a boy, Lily," Marianne said. "And if you think I won't approve of who it is, you clearly don't know me at all." 

Lily smiled slightly. 

"I wish I could tell you, Marianne," she said. "I really do. But I need to sort some things out first. I'll tell you when I'm ready." 

Marianne nodded. 

"I understand," she said. "But you know I'm here for you, no matter. I always will be." 

"I know," Lily nodded, hugging her.

*

Christmas came faster than Severus had expected that year. Before he knew it, he was packed and on the train home. Christmas had always been his favourite time of year, but not for the presents and celebration. It was his getaway from Hogwarts, Lucius and this year also Lily. He had spent the past month doing his best to avoid her, with a surprising amount of success. She was probably avoiding him too, he decided. And who could blame her? Now that he'd had time to calm down, he was starting to realise what an idiot he had been. Dumbledore had told him a few weeks ago that he had talked to Lily, and that she denied knowing anything about Sirius' prank. Severus believed it. Hating to admit it, he had started trusting Lily. In fact he still did. The paranoid voice in the back of his head was warning him about not falling back into the same trap, but he was starting to ignore it again. He missed Lily. But his chances of getting her back were non-existing. He had called her whore. A _whore._ How could she ever forgive him? He couldn't even forgive himself. 

*

Christmas was the only time of year when the Snape mansion didn't look and feel like an abandoned ghost house. His mother lived there alone all year while he was in school, and during the summer it was usually just the two of them, save the occasional visit from relatives. But during Christmas, the house was full of family from all over. Aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, great grandparents. Severus didn't mind though. He liked his family, for the most part. Some of his uncles were rather unpleasant people, but he got along with his cousins. They all went to Durmstrang, and that was initially the plan for Severus too. But after his father had died, his mother couldn't stand the thought of him going to school that far away. To Severus it didn't make much difference, he doubted he would fit in any better there than at Hogwarts.

The days passed like they always did. Listen to his cousins brag about all the cool dark arts they learned at Durmstrang, listening to his uncle Hector lecturing him on the importance of being a pureblood ("I trust you are keeping with the right kind at school, Severus"), listening to his aunts and grandmothers fuss over how thin he was ("Do they feed you at all at that school?"). He was used to it. He'd just nod politely, and smile at his grandmothers. Just one big, happy family.

*

On Christmas Day, Severus woke to the sound of voices from downstairs. He found everyone in the kitchen, talking excitedly. 

"He told me something big was going to take place," Uncle Hector was saying. "But I didn't know he meant something this big. The man knows how to pick 'em." 

"What's going on?" Severus asked, stifling a yawn. 

His mother, who unlike the rest of the family looked rather shaken, handed him the Daily Prophet. The headline flashed at him: 

"**FAMILY ATTACKED! NO SURVIVORS!**" 

Severus' heart stopped for a second as he scanned the page. 

On Christmas Eve, the family of Ministry Auror Jonathan Flemming were attacked. Eyewitnesses who arrived at the scene later told the police that a symbol of a skull and a snake was hovering above the house. Inside, Mr. Flemming, his wife and their teenage daughter were found dead. "We have no leads yet," says Ministry spokesman Cornelius Fudge. "The ministry would like to encourage the public to come forward with any information they think will prove helpful to the investigation."

The article went on listing a few theories, mostly far out ones the paper had come up with.

"I could tell them a thing or two," Uncle Hector was saying. "But they will find out soon enough." 

Severus was only half listening. He had been relieved to see the name Flemming at first, but now it was starting to ring a bell far back in his mind. Didn't he know a Flemming? Then it suddenly hit him. Marianne Flemming, Lily's best friend. He grabbed the table, slipping himself onto a chair. 

"What's the matter, dear?" his mother asked. "Did you know her?" 

"Er… no," Severus managed. "Friend of a friend." 

"I hope you're not keeping with that kind," Uncle Hector snorted. "From what I hear, his wife was a muggle. He got what he deserved. And so will many more, mark my word." 

Severus suddenly felt sick. He got up from the table, still feeling slightly dizzy. 

"Are you sure you're all right, dear?" his mother asked. 

"Yeah, no problem," he muttered. "My stomach just feels a bit upset, that's all. I think I'll go lie down." 

He left the kitchen, well aware none of them had believed a word. 

"Shouldn't you have some breakfast?" his mother called after him, but he didn't answer. 

"I'm telling you, Alexandra," he could hear his uncle say, "That school is bad for him. You should have sent him to Durmstrang while…" 

He closed his bedroom door, shutting out uncle Hector's voice.

Lily. He had managed not to think of her for the past couple of days, but now he was worried sick. Did she know? He wasn't even sure she got the Daily Prophet. What if no one had told her? What if she came to school after New Years, expecting to find Marianne there? He got up to owl her when he remembered he was probably the last person she wanted to hear from right now. He sat back down on his bed, feeling utterly helpless.

Someone knocked on the door, and he jumped. His mother looked in. 

"Are you sure you're alright, Severus?" she asked, closing the door. 

"I'm fine," he said, well aware he neither looked nor sounded fine. 

"I didn't want to ask you in front of Hector," she said, sitting down on the chair next to his desk. "This Flemming girl… I know I'm probably the last person you want to talk to about this, but… Was she your girlfriend?" 

Severus had to smile at the uncertainty in his mother's voice. 

"No," he assured her. "She was a friend of a friend… Or more of a acquaintance." 

"Severus, you can tell me the truth," Alexandra said. "I may share some of your uncle's views, but in the end I just want you to be happy. Pureblood or halfblood. I'm not bothered." 

'What about a mudblood?' Severus thought. 

"I am telling you the truth, mother," he said. "It was just a shock, that's all. I'll be fine." 

"Well, you needn't worry," she said, laying her hand on his shoulder. "From what Hector says, the mubloods and halfbloods are the ones at risk. We're as pure as they come. Are you sure you don't want to come down for some breakfast?" 

"Yes, I'll just stay up here for a while," Severus nodded. 

"I'll bring your presents up," Alexandra smiled. She left the room, and Severus lay back in bed.

He had heard his mother use the term mudblood all his life, and it had never bothered him. He had never even thought twice about it. But when she had said it just now, it had made him furious. 

"Mudbloods and halfbloods are the ones at risk." 

That meant Lily was at risk. But at risk of what? Who was it his uncle was talking about? He knew a lot of wizards grumbled about the halfbloods and muggleborns, but who would go as far as to actually kill them? For the first time in 6 years, he wished he was back at Hogwarts. He had to see Lily.

*

The rest of his holiday passed all to slowly. Severus remained quiet, and his mother silently noted that he looked paler than usually. She pointed it out to him when they said goodbye at the train station, but he assured her he was fine. 

"Give your friend my condolenses," she said, hugging him. 

"I will," he lied.

*

He wasn't surprised to find her there. She sat curled up on the sofa, staring absent-mindedly into the empty fireplace. She had wrapped a blanket around her, but still looked cold. 

"Lily?" he said softly, and she startled, turning her head to look at him. She wasn't crying, he noted, but her red eyes told him she had not too long ago. He lit the fireplace, and joined her on the sofa. 

"Marianne," Lily began, her voice only a hoarse whisper. 

"I know," he said silently. "I realize I'm probably the last person." 

Lily rested her head against his chest, and he stopped, amazed. Hesitating a little, he put his arms around her. 

"If you want to talk," he whispered, but she just shook her head. 

"Just stay with me, please," she whispered into his sweater, and he nodded, kissing her brow. 

"I've missed you, Severus," she whispered, looking up at him. 

"And I've missed you," he said softly, stroking her cheek. 

***

There we go then. Thanks for the lovely reviews, you guys keep me going (however few you are). Keep 'em coming!

_Next chapter? The usual complications, and Lily makes a little discovery._


	7. Life goes on

_A/N: Have since the last chapter finished GoF for the second time and well… You know the "bear with me" note on the first chapter. Applies now more than ever__J. Chapter title? *hides in shame*_

_But no matter, here's the chapter:_

***

Chapter 7 – Life goes on 

***

School started again the following Monday, but Hogwarts was hardly its same old self. The students seemed deeply affected by the attack, most of them in a state of shock. The Slytherins were the only ones who seemed unaffected, all apart from Severus but no one paid any heed to him as it was. 

Classes were cancelled on the first day back, and instead the students gathered in the Great Hall for a memorial service for Marianne. 

Severus spent most of it watching Lily. He wished he could be next to her, his arm around her for comfort. He knew Dumbledore had asked her if she wanted to speak, but she had told him she couldn't. Severus didn't blame her. He remembered his father's funeral all too well. Many of his friends had tried to speak, but they had all broken down. Even if he had only been four at the time, Severus remembered it as if it were yesterday.

Dumbledore spoke warmly about Marianne, and from what he said Severus figured Lily had told him a couple of things. He looked over at her. She was crying silently. James was sitting next to her, and Severus stared as he put his arm around her. 

'This is not the time to get jealous,' he tried to tell himself, but it was no use. 

"Matter of time," he heard Lucius mutter to Goyle, rather louder than needed. "They do make a nice couple." 

Goyle sniggered, casting a glance in Severus' direction. Severus pretended not to be listening. 

*

"Are you all right?" James asked after the service had ended. Lily nodded. 

"I'll be fine, James," she assured him. "Don't worry about it." 

"If you ever need to talk," he offered. 

"I know," she said. "Thank you." 

"What are friends for, eh?" she said, giving her a slight smile. "Do you want to do something or…" 

"I think I just want some time to myself, James," Lily said, and he nodded, watching her disappear up the marble stairs to Gryffindor Tower. 

"Friends, eh?" Sirius said, and James turned to face him. He was surprised to see his friend, who usually looked without a care in the world, looking red eyed and worn. 

"You all right, Padfoot?" he asked, changing the subject. 

"I will be," Sirius nodded, though he didn't sound too convincing. "Wanna go set off some Dungbombs in Filch's office?" 

"If it will make you feel better," James said, glad to hear some of Sirius' old spark in his voice. 

"Oh, it will," Sirius assured him, attempting one of his devious grins.

*

"I guessed you'd be here," he said, joining her on the sofa. "How are you feeling?" "Terrible," she sighed, leaning her had against his chest. "Why her, Severus? Why Marianne?" 

He could hear his uncle's words all to clearly in his head; 

_'From what I hear, his wife was a muggle. He got what he deserved'_.__

"I don't know," he lied. "I guess we'll never know." 

They sat together in silence for what seemed like an eternity. Severus wanted to speak, but he couldn't think of a single thing that might comfort her. Lily just sat cuddled up in his arms, staring distantly at the fireplace and sobbing every now and again. 

"You're quiet," she said after a while. "Is there something wrong?" 

"No," he assured her. 

"Yes there is," Lily said, looking up at him. "What is it?" 

"It's silly really…" he muttered. "It's just… you and James earlier." 

"You're jealous?" Lily asked, surprised, and he nodded. 

"Well, don't be," she whispered. "I have no interest whatsoever in James Potter beyond friendship." 

"He has interest in you," Severus pointed out. 

"Oh, please," Lily dismissed. "You're starting to sound like Sirius." 

"Well, I'd better stop it then," he said jokingly. Lily knew he wasn't joking. 

*

It was late when they left the office. The watch, which Severus had fixed, read 'You should have been in bed ages ago.' He followed her as far as he dared. 

"You'll be alright, won't you?" he whispered, kissing her goodnight. 

"Yeah," Lilly nodded. "I've got you." 

"Lily," he said softly. "I'm sorry." 

"For what?" she asked, confused. 

"For everything," he said. 

"I've forgiven you long ago," she whispered.

Lily had expected the common room to be empty, but when she walked in she saw James in a corner, bent over a piece of parchment. He didn't seem to have noticed her. 

"James?" she said carefully, and he jumped, quickly tapping the parchment with his wand and stuffing it into his robes. 

"Lily, you scared me," he said, attempting a smile. Had Lily not been as tired as she was, she might have seen through it. 

"How are you feeling?" he asked. 

"OK, I guess," she shrugged. "Tired though. Good-night, James." 

"Goodnight," he said, watching her make her way to the dormitories. 

*

Life slowly went back to normal, and Lily with it. But one morning Severus showed up for Transfiguration, and found she was not there. It would not have worried him, had it not been for the fact that as far as he knew, Lily had never missed a class. He thought for a brief second about asking James where she was, but quickly thought the better of that. Instead, he told McGonagall he wasn't feeling well, and asked if he could go see the nurse. To his great surprise, she let him. 

"Let me know if she is alright," she whispered to him before he left. Surprised, he only nodded.

He headed straight for the office, and found her sitting on the sofa, clutching a little, red book. 

"Marianne's diary," she said when she saw him. "I found it this morning… She knew about us, Severus." 

He sat down, putting an arm around her. 

"She asked me, you know," Lily said distantly. "The day after… well, you know. She told me she knew something was going on, and that I shouldn't be afraid to tell her because of who it was. I was going to tell her. I made up my mind during the holidays. And then…" 

Her voice cracked, and Severus pulled her closer, comforting her the best he could. 

"I don't even have a picture of her," Lily sobbed against his shoulder. "We were best friends for 5 years, and I don't have as much as a bloody picture of her." 

He just stroke her back, not knowing what to say. 

"What if she thought I didn't trust her?" Lily said suddenly. "What if she died thinking I didn't consider her." 

"She didn't," he whispered, interrupting her. "You know she didn't. She knew you were her best friend. She knew you'd tell her when you were ready." 

"But what if." 

"No buts," he instructed, kissing her. 

"What would I do without you?" she whispered, resting her head on his shoulder. 

'You'd probably have James to turn to,' he thought.

*

When Lily returned to Gryffindor Tower that night, she found James and Sirius in a hefty quarrel. Remus and Peter were sitting on the sofa, both trying to hide their amusement. 

"What on earth did you do that for?" Sirius shouted at James. "What are we going to do without it?" 

"Do without what?" Lily asked, and all four of them spun around. 

"Er… our supply of Dungbombs," Sirius said quickly. "James had it confiscated." 

"Hogsmeade this weekend," Lily said. "Can't you just get new ones?" 

"Er, of course," Sirius muttered, going red. 

"Honestly," Lily sighed, heading for the dorms. "Goodnight boys." 

"Close one, Padfoot," James smiled, patting Sirius on the back. 

"Don't you start," Sirius snapped. "Why James? You knew he was going to take it." 

"Relax, he's too thick to figure it out," James said calmly. "Besides, we know all the important places as it is. And we still have the cloak." 

*

Lily was not looking much forward to the Hogsmede weekend. She didn't feel like going at all, much rather wanting to stay at the castle with Severus. But James and the boys kept nagging her to come with them, and in the end she decided the change of environment might do her good. 

"You won't mind, will you?" she asked Severus on Friday night. "Me going with James and the others." 

"Of course not," he lied. 

"I know you don't like me being around James all the time," Lily started. 

"Don't worry about it," he dismissed, kissing her. "I trust you." 

*

The Hogsmede Saturday came with bright sunshine, warm sunshine, despite it only being early February. Hogsmede was full of people of all species, and when Lily and the guys went into The Three Broomsticks around lunch they had to wait ten minutes before they finally managed to snatch a table near the window. They sat down with a butterbeer each, the guys planning what to do with their freshly bought supply from Zonko's. 

Lily was only half listening. She was looking out the window at the crowd moving down the main street, thinking of Severus. She wished he could have been there too. Had he ever been to Hogsmede at all? She had certainly never seen him there. She imagined herself walking into The Tree broomsticks, hand in hand with Severus. The looks on people's faces. Sirius and James for starters. If only they'd gotten along with Severus, or he'd gotten along with them… But she knew that was too much to ask. 

Suddenly someone caught her eye outside. It couldn't be… But it was Severus. Lily watched him edge through the crowd and disappear into a tiny shop next to Honeydukes. The sign on the shop was old and rusty, and Lily had no chance at reading it from across the street. She watched the entrance for a while, and after about five minutes he emerged again, holding a package. He disappeared into the crowd, and Lily lost sight of him. She turned back to the boys, only to find James staring at her. He startled when she turned, and quickly busied himself with reading the label on a packet of Filibuster Fireworks.

*

"Why didn't you tell me you were going today?" Lily asked when they met that evening. 

"Going where?" Severus asked, sounding genuinely surprised. 

"Hogsmede," Lily said. "I saw you." 

"You missed me so much you started seeing things?" he teased. 

"Oh stop it," Lily sighed. "I saw you there. Why didn't you tell me? We could have met up."

Severus gave a short laugh. "Could we?" He imitated Lily's voice. "Excuse me guys, I'm just of to snog Severus for a little while." 

Lily imagined the boys' reactions, and couldn't help but smile. 

"What were you doing there?" she asked. 

"I can't tell you," he said, smiling secretively. "It's a secret." 

"Really," Lily said, suddenly interested. "I bet I could get you to tell me… I have ways." 

"I doubt it," he smiled, pulling her closer. "But I'd love to see you try."

*

"Prongs!" James looked up from his book. Sirius dumped himself on the couch. 

"Good news," he said, lowering his voice. 

"What?" James asked. 

"Valentine's Day is coming up," Sirius grinned. 

"And?" James said. 

"And I think that might be a good time for you to tell Lily how you feel," Sirius whispered. 

"Will you give that Lily-thing a rest?" James sighed. "I'm not in love with her, how many times do I have to tell you?" 

"James, you didn't take your eyes off her all day," Sirius said. "And I've told you before, you'd better make your move now before someone else beats you to it." 

"There's nothing to beat me to," James started. 

"Yes, there is," Sirius interrupted. "Don't think I'm an idiot, James. You're in love with her, and why on earth you're refusing to admit to it is a mystery to me." 

"Has it ever occurred to you that the feeling might not be mutual?" James hissed. 

"How will you know that if you never ask her?" Sirius countered. 

"Some things I don't need to ask," James said, getting up. 

"I didn't think you ever got scared, James," Sirius said behind him, but James didn't answer. 

"Idiot," Sirius muttered.

*

Lily usually let Valentine's Day pass without a thought. She would get the occasional card, usually unsigned with some extremely soppy message she would always, rightfully, be able to trace back to Sirius. But the card she found in her Potions book this year was definitely not from him. 

'_Meet me at the office tonight at 7.'_

 It wasn't exactly romantic, but it was more than enough for Lily.

At a quarter to seven, she left the common room, glad nobody asked her where she was going. She hurried through the hall, and crept behind the drape. She was about to open the door when it, to her great surprise, spoke. 

"Sorry, love. Can't let you in yet." 

"But it said seven," Lily said, still amazed she was talking to a door. 

"Exactly," the door said. "Seven sharp. You'll just have to wait." 

A few minutes later, the door opened and Lily entered the office. Severus was waiting inside, his hands behind his back. 

"Did you know the door speaks?" Lily asked, looking back at the door as it closed behind her. Severus didn't answer. 

"Close your eyes," he said. 

Lily smiled. 

"Why?" she asked. 

"Just play along," he smiled, and she did. She could feel his hands cover her eyes. 

"No looking," he whispered in her ear, and started leading her into the office. He turned her around, and let go of her. 

"Don't open them yet," he whispered, and she heard him mutter a couple of spells. 

"Right, now you can look."

Lily opened her eyes, and stared at the scene before her. 

The fireplace was lit, and a blanket in front of it had replaced the table and couch. The blanket was set with plates and goblets, and a few red-flamed candles hovered above it, giving the room a velvet glow. 

"Do you like it?" Severus asked, though the look on her face had already answered that question. 

"It's beautiful," Lily whispered, and he smiled. 

"Happy Valentine's Day." He pulled out a wrapped box from his robes, handing it to her. 

"Severus, you shouldn't have," Lily said, staring at it. "I mean, I didn't get you anything." 

"Don't worry about it," he whispered. "Just open it." 

They sat down on the blanket, and Lily started unwrapping the box. She lifted the lit of it, and pulled out a heavy, stone basin decorated with runes and signs. 

"It's a Pensieve," Severus explained. "It lets you." 

"Store your thoughts and memories," Lily finished, still staring at the basin. "Severus, you really shouldn't have. It must have been extremely expensive." 

"It was," he whispered, pulling her close to him. "But don't worry about that. You needed one." 

Lily gave him a puzzled look. 

"Remember how you told me you had no picture of Marianne?" he asked, and Lily nodded. 

"Well, now you do," he said. Lily just looked at Severus, completely speechless. A tear rolled down her cheek, and he kissed it away. "Thank you, Severus," she whispered. "I love it… and I love you." He startled, and looked down at her. "I haven't said that before, have I?" Lily blushed, and he shook his head. "Well, I do," she whispered. "And I love you," he whispered back.

***

_Awwww. Man can be sweet if he wants to._

_Thanks again for all the lovly reviews, keep 'em coming._


	8. There are worse things I could do

Disclaimer: Chapter title a song from Grease. 

A/N: As you might have noticed, this fiction is has been bumped up to PG-13. You'll know why soon enough…

***

Chapter 8 – There are worse things I can do 

***

17-year-old Douglas Williams was running. He was running faster than he knew he was capable of, and yet the sound of the man following him didn't seem to fade. In fact, it sounded like he was getting closer. The dark streets were empty, and Douglas searched madly for an ally he could slip into. He turned a corner, and realised he had made a mistake. It was a dead end. He looked desperately around the dark ally, hoping to find somewhere to hide, but it was useless. A cloak swished, and he turned to face the man. 

"Why did you run?" the man asked softly, his voice dangerously calm. 

Douglas fumbled for his wand. 

"Stay away from me," he yelled, his shaking hand pointing the wand at the man. 

The man laughed, a horrible, blood-freezing laugh. 

"Don't be a fool," he hissed suddenly. "I am far more powerful than you will ever be." 

Douglas shivered, his hands shaking even more. 

"Now," the man said, "I thought I made it clear to you what would happen if you abandoned me. Are you sure about this?" 

"You promised me power and glory," Douglas said, his voice only a whisper. 

"And you will have it," the man assured him. "Nothing can be gained without sacrifice." 

"I don't want it like this," Douglas spat. "I didn't think sacrifice meant other people." 

"I am sorry you feel that way," the man said, raising his wand. "You leave me no choice." 

Before Douglas could even think to scream, bright, green light shot out from the man's wand and Douglas fell to the ground. The man looked down at him, shaking his head a little, before raising his wand to the sky. A dark shape slithered out of it, and began to form a symbol. Without another look at his victim, the man Disapparated. 

*

Lily knew something was wrong the minute she came down to breakfast that morning. The Great Hall was dead quiet, apart from the odd whisper, something that was highly unusual even at breakfast. She sat down at the Gryffindor table, and saw Remus and Sirius bent over the Daily Prophet. Peter sat next to them, looking pale as a sheet, his hands shivering as he buttered his toast.

"What's going on?" Lily asked, edging closer. 

"Nothing," Sirius said, trying to hide the paper. 

"Then it can't hurt if I have a look," Lily said, snatching it from him. She froze as the front-page headline almost screamed at her:

**TEENAGE WIZARD MURDERED – CRIME SET IN CONNECTION WITH THE FLEMMING-MURDER! **

Lily looked down at the picture below it. It showed a young boy, not much older than her. He had short, dark hair, tired eyes and a grumpy expression. Next to him was a picture of Marianne and her parents. Lily felt a stab deep down in her stomach somewhere. She suddenly realised just how much she missed Marianne, and she had to swallow hard a couple of times.

Her hands trembling, she started reading the article;

The body of 17-year-old Douglas Williams was found in a side street in Knockturn ally late last night. The witness who found him was attracted by the site of a huge floating skull. 

_Williams was a student at Durmstrang Wizarding School, but was expelled last year. Since then, his family has known nothing of his whereabouts. 'It is a great shock for the family,' says ministry spokesman Cornelius Fudge. 'We ask that the press leave them alone and give them a chance to deal with their grief.'_

_When asked whether this crime can be linked to the gruesome murder of auror Jonathan Flemming and his family, Fudge admitted that 'we cannot deny that they do somehow seem connected. But we cannot say anything for certain until we have looked into the matter properly.'_

Lily put down the paper, her hands shaking. 

"Are you alright?" Sirius asked carefully. Lily just nodded. 

"Yes," she said absentmindedly. "I'm fine." The guys did not look convinced, but asked no more questions.

*

Severus was trying to ignore Lucius Malfoy, who was reading the article out loud to some of the other Slytherins. 

"He got what he deserved," Lucius whispered. "He tried to leave, the coward." 

Some of the Slytherins snorted. 

Not wanting to listen anymore, Severus glanced over at Lily. She too was reading the paper, and he watched as her eyes widened in shock. This was the last thing she needed, he thought. She had finally started to look and sound her old self, and now she was faced with Marianne's death all over again. He wanted to be there with her. Put his arm around her, and keep her safe. But he couldn't. 

'I'll see her tonight,' he thought, finishing his breakfast.

*

Lily was surprised at her own reaction to the murder. By the end of the day, she felt like nothing had happened. At first, she decided she must be in a state of shock, but as the days past she found herself thinking less and less about it. It just didn't bother her.

"I'm glad you're OK," Severus whispered one night as they sat by the fire in the office. 

"I don't know why," Lily said, edging closer to him. "But I just can't help to think that this has nothing to do with Marianne." 

"Maybe it doesn't," he said. 

They both thought of the skull, but neither dared mentioned it.

"Are you coming to the game Saturday?" Lily asked, changing the subject. 

"Quidditch?" he smiled. "I don't think so." 

"But you have to," Lily protested. "I mean, it's Gryffindor versus Slytherin. Game of the year." 

"Maybe," he said. "I'll think about it." 

"Which means you won't come," Lily concluded, a slight hint of annoyance in her voice. 

"You'll only beat us anyway," Severus said. "I have no need to see James Potter be worshipped any further." 

"Why do you hate him so much?" Lily asked. "What has he ever done to you?" 

"Have you forgotten he almost got me killed?" Severus said. 

"He saved your life," Lily pointed out. "It was Sirius' idea." 

"Says James," Severus muttered. "Perfect James Potter who gets everything he wants. Who never does anything wrong, but always comes to aid when someone else screws up." 

Lily kissed him. 

"Shut up, will you?" she whispered softly. "I hear enough about James Potter as it is." 

"Well, at least I've got something he hasn't," Severus smiled, returning the kiss. 

'For now,' he thought.

*

Peter pulled his cloak tighter around himself. He was starting to dislike these midnight meetings, but after what had happened to Douglas he had not choice he didn't dare to not show up. 

He startled as the man Apparated behind him. 

"Peter," he said, smiling. 

"M-my lord," Peter stuttered, bowing clumsily. 

"You seem nervous," the man pointed out. "I take it you've heard about Douglas." 

Peter nodded, shivering. 

"Well, he was a traitor. You needn't worry," the man assured him. "Now, have you got what I requested?" 

"Y-yes," Peter stuttered, handing him several pieces of parchment. 

"And are they related?" the man asked. 

Peter nodded hurriedly. 

"Well done, Peter," the man smiled. "You will be rewarded for this." 

With a 'pop', he Disapparated, leaving Peter cold and alone.

*

Lily's last period that Thursday was Potions. Professor Avery told them to make a Shrinking Potion, and spent the entire class going around criticising the Gryffindors. When he stopped next to Lily, she was prepared to shut out whatever he had to say. He leaned closer, lowering his voice. 

"I'd like to see you in my office after class, Miss. Evans," he said quietly. Surprised, Lily only nodded. Avery moved on to James and Sirius' desk, Lily staring after him.

When class ended, she went to Professor Avery's office. 

"Ah, Miss Evans," he smiled. "Come in." 

Very suspicious, Lily sat down in one of the chairs in front of his desk. 

"You're a bright girl, Lily," Avery said. "One of the brightest muggle-borns I have taught." 

"Thank you professor," Lily said, astonished at the praise. 

"I would have thought," he continued, "that you would know how to chose your company." 

"What do you mean?" Lily asked. 

"The crowd you keep with," Avery said, leaning back in his chair. 

"Sirius and James and the guys?" Lily asked, surprised, but Avery shook his head. 

"Severus Snape," he said. "He's bad news, Lily." 

"I don't know what you mean," Lily said, staring at him. 

Avery leaned across his desk. 

"You have a bright future, Lily," he said quietly. "But Severus will stand in the way of that. You can do much, much better. Some things just aren't meant to be. He is from one of the oldest wizarding families in Britain. You're a muggle-born." 

Anger was boiling inside of Lily, and she had to pull herself greatly together to keep calm.  

"I don't know what you're insinuating, Professor," she said calmly, "but I am not going to listen to it." 

"I'm not insinuating anything, Miss Evans," Avery smirked, leaning back. "I am just concerned about you, that's all." 

"Well, I can assure you that I can take care of myself," Lily said, getting up and heading for the door. "Good day, Professor."

Severus waited outside the classroom when Lily came trampling out. She was surprised to see him there. Looking around, he pulled her into a corner.

"What did he want?" he asked quietly.

"Nothing," Lily said, trying to sound calm despite her anger.

Severus didn't look like he believed her. 

"If he made any suggestions or anything," he started, but Lily just laughed. 

"Really, it was nothing," she assured him. She looked quickly around the hall, and kissed him. "C'mon, let's get out of here."

*

Saturday came with bright sunshine from a cloudless blue sky. The school was buzzing anticipation, especially the Gryffindor table. Rawenclaw had unexpectedly won the cup last year, and the Gryffindor team felt it their duty to bring it back. Sirius was going on about how he was going to knock Lucius Malfoy off his broom, Jonathan Wood listening intently. Wood loved Quidditch, but sadly he was no good at it himself. His girlfriend Nancy was though; she was one of Gryffindor's three chasers. 

Lily was sitting next to James, who was in deep concentration. He had a bunch of drawings spread around him on the table, all filled with stickmen zooming around on broomsticks. He looked pale, and extremely nervous.

"You'll be OK," Lily tried to encourage. James didn't answer.  

Severus was at the end of the Slytherin table listening to the team discussing their defence. They all seemed more concerned with stopping the Gryffindors scoring than actually scoring themselves, he noted. He had no plans to go see the game, knowing very well how it would end. Gryffindor would win, as they always did. And James Potter would get his glory, as _he_ always did. Severus left the breakfast table, and headed for the office, intending to do some homework.

*

"Are you sure, Lily?" James asked, looking surprised. 

"Yes, I'm not feeling too good," she nodded. "I think I'll catch some sleep now that the tower will be empty." 

"You'll miss one hell of a game," he said, sounding slightly disappointed. 

"I will," Lily said. "Do me a favour will you? If you get near enough to Lucius, knock him off his broom." 

James smiled. "I think Sirius' already has that covered."

*

Severus had only just sat down at the desk when the door opened. 

"Thought I'd find you here," Lily smiled, closing it behind her. 

"If you've come to get me to go to the game, you're wasting you time," he said, opening his copy of 'Runes of Eldest'. 

"I haven't," Lily said. "I've come to be with you instead." 

He looked up, surprised. 

"Thought this was 'Game of the year'," he said, teasing. "How can you miss it?"  
"There are more important things," Lily replied, kissing him.

"Won't they wonder where you are?" he asked.

"I told them I wasn't feeling well," Lily shrugged. "I hope I wasn't interrupting your work."

"There are more important things," he smiled. 

They sat down in front of the fireplace, Severus wrapping his arms around her. 

"What did Avery want with you that day?" he asked.

"I told you, it was nothing," Lily said, avoiding his eyes. 

"Lily, I've known you long enough to be able to tell when you're angry," he said. "You were furious. What did he say?"

Lily sighed.

"He knows, Severus," she said slowly. 

"What?" Severus whispered. 

"He knows about us," Lily said, staring into the fireplace. "And he wanted to talk to me so he could tell me that I should break up with you before I ruin the longest line of purebloods in the country." 

"You're kidding!" Severus whispered, his voice furious.

"No," Lily sighed. "He told me straight out." She imitated Avery's sleek voice. "Some things just aren't meant to be."

"Well, he's and idiot," Severus said, holding her tighter. "I couldn't care less about my bloodline… or yours." 

"Your family will," Lily pointed out.

"My family doesn't have a say in this," he said, kissing her. "We're the only ones who do." 

"I can't lose you, Severus," she whispered. 

"You're not going to," he assured her, kissing her neck. 

Carefully, he slid his hands down her back and up underneath her sweater. He half expected her to stop him, but she didn't. His lips moved to hers. 

"Imagine if someone walked in on us right now," Lily whispered, and he smiled slightly

"They won't," he assured her. "I put a spell on the door. We're the only ones who can see it." 

His lips moved down to her neck again, his hands carefully unbuttoning her shirt. She made no sign that she wanted him to stop.

"Are you sure?" he asked softly.

"Absolutely."

*

"Was is…"

"It was good."

"Just good?"

Lily leaned over and kissed him. 

"It's not supposed to be better than 'good' the first time," she assured him, and he smiled. 

"I guess we'll just have to practice then," he whispered, kissing her back. 

She rested her head on his arm and looked up at the watch. 

"Oh, I have to get back," she said, getting to her feet. "The match is probably over, they'll wonder where I've gone." 

She started getting dressed hurriedly, Severus watching her. 

"I'll see you here tomorrow," she said, giving him a quick kiss. 

"Of course," he smiled. 

Lily hurried towards the door, trying to straighten her hair. She had just reached for the handle when his voice stopped her. 

"Lily." 

She turned to face him. 

"You're wearing my robes," he smiled. 

Lily looked down at her front, and realised that instead of the Gryffindor lion, the Slytherin serpent was looking up at her. 

"Oh God," she sighed, quickly starting to unbutton them. "Thanks for telling me." 

He got up from the sofa, picked up her robes, and helped her put them on. 

" Can you imagine if I'd gone out there," she said. 

Severus just smiled, and pulled her into his arms. 

"Relax will you?" he whispered. "They can't tell by looking at you, you know." 

"I guess not," she admitted. He kissed her softly. 

"I'll see you tomorrow." 

*

Lily spent five minutes outside the portrait thinking up an excuse for where she had been. But when she entered, it soon became clear she was not going to need it. The common room was fully of celebrating students, and flags and banners had been hung from every possible place, some of them just floating in the air. Someone had clearly been to the kitchens, there was a table full of food. Why Lily hadn't spent the day in bed like she had intended was the last thing on anyone's mind.

"I take it we won," Lily smiled, getting herself hugged by several people. 

She didn't see James watching her from a corner of the room.

*

The Slytherin common room was for the most part empty. Lucius sat in a chair in the corner, holding a piece of paper to his nose. 

"Sirius' work," he said when he saw Severus. 

Severus couldn't help but feel pleased at the thought of what Lucius' nose would look like in the morning.

"I take it we lost," Severus said. Lucius only nodded. 

"I didn't see you at the game," he pointed out.

"You know I'm no big fan of Quidditch," Severus shrugged, and added in a sarcastic tone, "Why? Did you miss me?"

"No, I just thought it was an odd coincidence, that's all," Lucius smirked. "Especially since I overheard Potter telling Black that our little Miss. Evans wasn't feeling well, and had stayed behind at the castle."

"Your point?" Severus said, heading for the dorm.

"You know what my point it," Lucius said, following him. "What are you doing with her?" 

Severus didn't answer. He was not going to let Lucius provoke him into saying something he might regret. 

"What's she like then?" Lucius continued. "Is she good?"

"I wouldn't know," Severus said shortly.

"I guess there is more of your father in you than people thought," Lucius spat. "It's a wonder you're a Slytherin at all, considering that it seems you've inherited his love of mudbloods." 

It was the final straw for Severus. Before Lucius knew what had happened, Severus pulled out his wand. 

"Expellimarus," he yelled, sending Lucius flying across the room, and knocking him into the wall. Severus moved swiftly over to him and pointed his wand at Lucius' face. 

"Never mention my father again," he hissed. "Or I assure you, you will find out just how much of him has passed to me. Need I remind you he knew more dark spells than any wizard in the country?" 

Lucius looked about ready to say something, but thought the better of it. Severus turned and headed for the stairs. 

"Hope your nose gets better," he said. "Maybe you'll learn to keep it out of things from now on."

***

Thanks for all the lovely reviews, keep 'em coming. Dunno when the next chapter will be up, I've got an exam coming. Wish me luck you guys. 


	9. Like a virgin

_A/N: Sorry it took so long. Had a little visit from Mr. Writers Block. _

_IMPORTANT: If you read chapter 8 right when it was posted, you might want to go back and check that you've read the right one. I posted chapter 8, then took it down because I wasn't happy with it, and then I put it back up again. So, if Severus just went straight to bed in the end of chapter 8, you might wanna go back and read it again…_

***

Chapter 9 – Like a virgin

***

Severus was happy to note that his little outburst seemed to have scared Lucius. Maybe he was better off losing his temper every now and again rather than just ignoring them. He did know a few useful hexes he had picked up from his fathers old books. They might come in handy. And he didn't need to worry about breaking house rules; it was almost expected of Slytherins to use each other as live targets. Severus had experienced that enough times himself. Avery would probably be proud.

Avery. How did he know about Severus and Lily? It felt like they had taken every precaution imaginable. And he still knew. And so did Dumbledore. How long would it be before one of the students found out? Lucius was suspicious, of course, but he couldn't prove anything. Lily was pretty good friends with Sirius and the guys. Had she told them? No, she couldn't have, he decided. Sirius Black would never be able to keep something this big a secret.

*

"You haven't told anyone, have you?" he asked one evening. Lily's head had been resting on his naked chest, but now she looked up. 

"No, why would I?" 

"I dunno," he sighed. "It just doesn't feel like our secret is very… secret." 

"Just because Avery knows," Lily started. 

"It's not just Avery," Severus said. "Dumbledore. Lucius." 

"Lucius knows?" Lily looked amazed. 

"No," he said quickly. "But he's suspicious." 

"He's also an idiot," Lily shrugged. "No one is going to listen to him." 

"I hope you're right," he whispered, kissing her. 

"I am," Lily assured him. "As long as we continue to be careful, no one will find out." 

*

Lily woke the next morning feeling rather queasy. She hope it would wear off when she got some breakfast, but the smell of food only made her feel worse. 

"You OK, Lily?" James asked, watching her shove her bacon around on the plate. 

"Yeah, I'm just not hungry," Lily muttered, getting up. She hurried out of the hall and into the nearest toilet. 

"What on did you say to her, Prongs?" Sirius teased. James didn't answer.

Despite it only being early March, the weather had suddenly decided to show off its best side that morning. Lily threw off her cloak as she, Remus and Sirius walked across the grounds to their Care of Magical Creatures class. The snow had completely melted and some of the trees had started sprouting leafs. 

They found Professor Kettleburn standing outside a small paddock. In a corner of it, a white horse was grassing. 

"A unicorn," Lily said, amazed. Most of the other students had already gathered around, the girls whispering excitedly. 

"Today we'll be discussing unicorns," Professor Kettleburn said. Lily swallowed, something twitching inside her.  

"As you all know," the professor continued, "unicorns are common throughout northern Europe. There are some in the forest here, and I've managed to catch one for today's lesson. They possess magical powers, and their hairs are used in many brands of wands." 

Professor Kettleburn went on, but Lily had stopped listening. She had loved unicorns for as long as she could remember, even before she found out she was a witch, and it had always been her dream to be able to get near one. But now she wasn't so sure anymore. One fact kept twirling around in her head. A fact she hoped to God Kettleburn would not mention.

"Unicorns are hard to catch," Professor Kettleburn said. "It is said that they will only trust someone pure and true at heart. They prefer girls, and the female unicorns will for the most part only let virgins catch them." 

Kettleburn looked at his students. 

"Let's have one of you try and catch this one... Miss Evans, would you like to have a go?" Lily's stomach turned. 

"Er, Professor I don't think," she started, but he had already pulled her out of the crowd and was leading her towards the paddock where the unicorn was grassing peacefully. 

"Nothing to worry about, Lily," he said calmly. "It won't hurt you." 

'Want to bet?' Lily thought nervously. She entered the paddock, well aware that the whole class had come closer to have a better look. 

'Great,' she thought, and carefully edged nearer to the unicorn. 

"Hi girl," she said softly. It looked up at her, its ears twitching in the direction of Lily's voice. 

"That's right," Lily continued in the same, calm tone. "That's a good girl. I'm not going to hurt you." The unicorn was still eyeing her suspiciously. Lily walked slowly, trying not to think about all the people watching her. She was near enough to pat it now, and she reached out her hand slowly. Suddenly the unicorn threw her head back, neighing angrily. Lily jumped back. 

"It's ok girl," she said softly, more to herself than the unicorn. "I'm not gonna hurt you. I just want to pet you." But it was no use. With another neigh, the unicorn turned and bolted to the other end of the paddock. 

"I guess someone's not as innocent as we thought." 

Lucius' voice rose above the murmurs from her classmates. Lily felt herself go flushing red. 

"I thought you said unicorns only let virgins catch them, Professor," Lucius continued. 

"Well, one can never be certain, Mr Malfoy," Kettleburn said, but Lily thought he sounded a bit amazed himself. 

She hurried out of the paddock, well aware that everyone was looking at her. The girls were muttering, Lucius was looking unusually pleased and Remus and Sirius looked amazed. Professor Kettleburn, sensing the sudden tension of the class, tried his best to save the situation. 

"Miss Saunders, why don't you try," he offered. A brown haired Rawenclaw girl hurried forward. Professor Kettleburn lead her into the paddock too, and Lily's heart sank further as she watched the girl go right up to the unicorn and start stroking it. 

"Guess some still have it, and some don't," Lucius whispered to Narcissa, just loud enough for Lily to hear.

*

When class was over, Lily hurried back into the castle. Instead of heading for her next class, Transfiguration, she turned in the other direction, heading for Gryffindor Tower. 

"Aren't you supposed to be in class, young lady?" the fat lady asked. 

"Not feeling well," Lily muttered, which wasn't a complete lie. "Quidditch Cup." 

The portrait swung open, and Lily went in. She hurried up to the dorms, and pulled her Pensieve out from underneath her bed. She poked the liquid with her wand, and Marianne's face swam into vision. 

"I'm here for you, no matter. I always will be," her voice echoed. 

"I wish you were here now," Lily whispered. "I could use my best friend back." 

How long before the rumour was all over school? That Lily Evans wasn't a virgin. How long before people started asking themselves who her boyfriend was? They would all assume it was James, of course. Everyone already did. But if James denied it, what then? Would they figure it out? Lily's thoughts were interrupted as her stomach turned and she was forced to hurry off to the bathroom again.

*

"Way to go, Potter." 

"Good going, James." 

"Well done." 

"What on earth is going on?" James sighed, dropping himself down next to Sirius at lunch. "People have been patting my back and congratulating me all day." 

"I'll tell you later," Sirius muttered. James looked down the table. 

"Where's Lily?" he asked. Sirius shrugged. "Haven't seen her since care of magical creatures." 

"And for good reason," Remus added silently. 

"OK, someone tell me what's going on," James demanded, looking at his friends in turn. 

"Not the place," Sirius said quietly. 

"Well, then let's find one that is," James said, getting up and dragging Sirius with him. Remus and Peter hurried after them.

*

"You're joking!" James stared at Sirius. 

"I wish I was," Sirius sighed. 

"Well, they can't say," James started. "I mean, it's not a safe bet, the unicorn." 

"It's safe enough for Lucius," Remus pointed out. "And anyone else who wants to believe it." 

"Poor Lily," James muttered. 

"Er, Prongs?" Sirius said carefully. "They're not right, are they?" 

"What do you mean?" James asked. 

"Well, you and Lily haven't." 

"Oh for crying out loud," James interrupted. "How many times do I need to tell you guys? There is **nothing** between me and Lily!"

*

"Ey, Evans! Fancy a quick one?" 

Lily ducked through the halls, trying to avoid the rude suggestions she was being hailed with. She turned a corner, and hurried into an empty classroom, slamming the door shut. 

It had been a week since the incident with the unicorn, but it had far from died down. The rumour had spread throughout the school in a matter of hours, and Lily had been forced to deal with comments and suggestions since. 

'I don't know how much more of this I can take,' she thought, sitting down in a corner of the room, rubbing her stomach. Lucius was by far the worst. He had tried to hit on Lily before (why she had never really understood), but since the unicorn his suggestions had become much more graphic, and disgusting. She wasn't sure how much longer she could go without punching him. Maybe it was just as well she did.

The door creaked open. 

"Leave me alone," Lily snapped. 

"Ok then," Severus' voice said. 

"No, wait. I didn't mean you." Lily looked up at him. He smiled, joining her on the floor. 

"I know you didn't," he whispered, kissing her. "How are you holding up?" 

"I feel like jumping of the Astrology tower," Lily muttered. He put his arm around her, kissing her brow. 

"It'll die down," he whispered. "Just don't let them see that it's getting to you." 

"That's easy for you to say," Lily pointed out. 

"You think it's any easier for me?" he asked. " You think I like hearing some of the things people say about you? I'd gladly stand up for you." 

"Don't you dare," Lily interrupted. "It's bad enough as it is." 

"How about if I hex Lucius in his sleep?" Severus suggested, earning himself a slight smile. 

"It'll be OK, Lily," he whispered. 

"I know," she nodded. "I love you." 

"And I you," he assured her. 

"Shouldn't you be in class though?" Lily pointed out. 

"Probably," he nodded. 

"Well, off you go then," she shooed, kissing him. "Don't let me keep you." 

"Will you be alright?" he asked carefully. She nodded. 

"I'll see you tonight."

*

Lily waited until she was sure class had started before she dared leave the classroom. The hallways were empty, apart from the odd ghost floating along. Instead of going back to the common room, Lily turned and headed for the hospital wing. 

She found Madam Pomfrey at Nitgales desk. 

"Miss Evans," she said, looking with surprise at Lily. "Shouldn't you be in class?" 

"I just… is Madam Nitgale here?" Lily stuttered. 

"No, she's in Manchester," Pomfrey said. "She'll be gone for a few days. Can I help?" 

Lily didn't answer. 

"Why don't you have a seat, Lily," Pomfrey suggested, pointing her wand at the door, slamming it shut. 

"I've been hearing some of the rumours going around in school lately," Pomfrey said. 

"Who hasn't?" Lily muttered. 

"I'm not going to ask you if it's true or not," Pomfrey continued. "That is none of my business." 

Lily gave her a small, thankful smile. 

"I am, however, concerned about you," Pomfrey said. "There is a reason why Slytherins." 

"Not you too," Lily sighed. 

"Lily, I just don't want you to do anything you regret," Pomfrey said softly. "Some times, when you're in love, you can be a bit blinded. People aren't always as nice as they seem."

"There is nothing going on between me and Severus," Lily protested. 

"Who said I was talking about Severus Snape?" Pomfrey smiled. Lily cursed silently. 

"You won't tell anyone, will you?" she asked anxiously. 

"Of course not," Pomfrey assured her. 

"I need to talk to someone about his," Lily sighed. "It's driving me crazy." 

"Well, I'm always here," Pomfrey said, "even if you just want to talk." 

Lily shifted in her chair. Should she tell the nurse about her concerns? Saying it out loud would mean coming to terms with it, and she wasn't sure she was ready for that. 

"Lily, is anything wrong?" Pomfrey asked carefully. Lily hesitated. 

"I… I'm late," she said finally. 

"For what?" Pomfrey asked, bewildered. 

"You know," Lily muttered. "_Late_ late." 

"Of course," Pomfrey said slowly, Lily's words dawning on her. "You think you're pregnant." 

Lily nodded, looking down at her feet. 

"Well, haven't you been using protection?" Pomfrey asked. 

"Of course we have," Lily said hurriedly. "But that's not 100 percent safe, is it?" 

"No, sadly it's not," Pomfrey agreed. "But finding out for sure is an easy enough matter. Give me your hand, Lily." 

She did, and Pomfrey conjured up a needle and a small glass. She pricked Lily's arm, and a few drops of blood dripped into the glass. 

"I'll know in a couple of hours," she told Lily, swishing her wand over Lily's arm to stop the bleeding. "Why don't you go up to your dorm and have some sleep. I'll inform McGonagall you're not feeling well." 

"You won't tell her about," Lily started. 

"Of course not," Pomfrey assured her. 

"Thanks," Lily said, getting up. 

"I'll send an owl with the result," Pomfrey said. "And remember; I'm here if you need to talk." 

Lily just gave her a grateful smile.

*

When Lily woke up, it was six o'clock at night. She sat up in bed, and jumped as she realized a large, tawny owl was sitting on her trunk. Lily took the letter in its beak, and the owl took off again. She stared at the envelope. She knew what it was. But she wasn't ready to find out yet. In fact, she was terrified. What if she was? What would she do? What would her parents say, and most importantly; what would Severus say? Lily tucked the letter into a pocket in her robes, getting up to go meet Severus.

*

She had only just sat down on the sofa when he came through the door. Lily jumped to her feet, greeting him with a kiss. 

"How are you feeling?" he asked. 

"Better," she lied. 

They sat down, Lily crawling into his arms. She wondered how he would react if she told him she might be pregnant. The thought had never crossed her mind, that she might be that unlucky. Somehow, she didn't think he would be too happy about it.

"You weren't in class today," Severus pointed out.

"I wasn't feeling well," Lily excused. "I went to see the nurse, and then I went to bed." 

"You did look a bit pale earlier," he agreed.   

"No one saw you, did they?" she asked. "I mean, earlier today. I wouldn't want them to think… it's bad enough what James has to go through." 

"Once again, James Potter gets the glory," Severus muttered.

"Excuse me?" Lily looked up at him. "So that's all I am? Glory?" 

"Lily, that's not what I meant," he started, but Lily had already gotten up. 

"You're no better than the rest of them," she spat. 

"Lily wait." The door slammed shut, cutting him off.

***

_Say it with me: MEN! _

_Right, I've decided some thank you's are in order;_

**_Anariel_**_, thanks for constantly nagging me about when the next chapter is up:) You keep me going. _

_All my **SBMB buddies**; Thanks for putting up with all my questions. What you I do if I couldn't ask you about all the things I don't know:)_

_All my reviewers. I admit it, I'm a sucker for reviews. Keep them coming, they make my day._

_Oh, and if you like Severus, please check out my "Words" fiction. Not in any way related to this one_


	10. I'll be there

_A/N: A couple of things. _

_1: No Amy, it's not an AU. Would explain why not, but that'd spoil the story_

_2: It's their sixth year. _

_3: I will gladly change the title of chapter 9 if I get a better reason for it than "you should change the title."_

_4: The thing about students from more than two houses being in class together; I honestly thought that in "elective" subjects the mixed all four houses. My bad_

_5: I corrected a major error in chapter 3. I can't believe none of y'all have noticed *tutt tutt*… lol_

_That said;_

***

Chapter 10 – I'll be there

***

"And she hasn't come back, you say?"

 "No, headmaster."

Dumbledore leaned back in his chair, his eyes searching Madam Pomfrey. 

"Does her family know?" he asked. 

"Yes," Pomfrey nodded. "It was them she went to visit. She never turned up there." 

Dumbledore nodded. Pomfrey watched him expectantly, but it was long before he spoke. 

"I do not think there is any need to alarm the students," he said at last. "We keep this as secret as we can. I will contact a friend at the Ministry, and have him instigate a search. You will take her position, Poppy. If the students ask any questions, please inform them that she is on holiday." 

Pomfrey only nodded. 

*

Lily sat curled up on the sofa, a blanket wrapped around her feet. The fireplace was empty. She hadn't bothered to light it. In her hand, she clutched the parchment envelope from Pomfrey. It had been tucked away in her robes for three days while she had tried not to think about it, but she couldn't ignore it any longer. She had to know.

But at the same time she was terrified. What if she was pregnant? She was only 16 after all, far too young to be a mother. She would have to end her studies. What would her parents say? What would Severus say? Lily was still angry with him but part of her was starting to forgive him, and she hated herself for it. 'I love him, the idiot,' she thought gloomily. Lily hadn't thought her life could get any worse after the unicorn, but after she and Severus had argued it had become unbearable. She knew he was jealous of James, and she could partly understand why. But how long would it take for him to trust her?

She played with the thought of not telling him, if it turned out she was pregnant, but she soon cast that aside. There was no way she could keep this a secret from him. 

She jumped as the door creaked open. Severus looked surprised to see her. 

"What are you doing here?" he asked. 

"You don't own the place, you know," Lily snapped. 

"I know," he muttered. "I didn't mean it like that." 

"No, you seem to say a lot of things you don't mean," Lily pointed out. 

"I know," he sighed. "I'm so sorry about what I said, Lily." 

"Took you long enough," she interrupted. She was not going to let him of the hook that easy. 

"I've been trying to tell you for three days," he pointed out. 

Lily didn't reply. She knew he was telling the truth; she had been avoiding him.

"What's that?" he asked, suddenly noticing the letter in her hand. "Has something happened?" 

Lily shook her head, tucking the letter away. 

"Lily, is something wrong?" he asked carefully. 

"No, everything is fine," she tried to assure him, but the words came out strangely muffled. 

He joined her on the sofa, but not before lighting the fire. 

"I'm not going anywhere 'til you tell me what's wrong," he insisted. 

Lily didn't reply, but Severus kept looking expectantly at her. She didn't return the gaze. 

"Fine," he sighed at last, getting up. "I get it. You're still angry, and I can't say I blame you." He had almost reached the door when her voice stopped him:

"Severus, I think I'm pregnant." 

He stopped dead, his hand halfway to the door-handle. 

"What?" he managed, turning back. 

"I think I'm pregnant," Lily repeated, avoiding his eye. 

"But… but how?" he stuttered. 

"That's kind of obvious, isn't it?" Lily muttered. 

"But we've been so careful," he started again. 

"Not careful enough," Lily sighed. 

There was a long, awkward silence. Lily stared at the fireplace. 

"Say something," she finally said, shaking him out of his thoughts. 

"I'm just surprised," he said. 

"Shocked, you mean?" Lily corrected him. 

"No… well, yeah," he admitted. "But in a good way." 

He walked over, kneeling in front of her. Lily looked up at him. 

"We'll make it work, somehow," he whispered. "If you are… I love you, you know I do." 

"I know," she nodded, tears welling up in her eyes. He pulled her close to him, and she sobbed silently against his shoulder. 

"Lily, I'm sorry," he started. 

"It's forgotten," she whispered. "You might be an idiot at times, but I still love you." He had to smile. 

She pulled the letter out of her robes, handing it to him. He looked at it as if it was something sacred. 

"The results?" he asked, and she nodded. 

"You read it. I can't bear to." 

He took it from her and opened it, his hands trembling. Lily watched as his eyes scanned the letter. Suddenly, they stopped, fixed on a spot on the page. 

"Well?" she asked carefully. "Am I?" 

He looked up at her, his mouth twitching into an odd, careful little smile. 

"I am?" Lily asked, and he nodded. She leaned back, tears welling up in her eyes again, and he stopped smiling. 

"I'll be here for you," he promised. "We'll make it work… somehow." 

She looked up at him, smiling gratefully though her tears, and he returned the smile carefully.

*

Severus leaned back in one of the black leather chairs in the Slytherin common room. He had left Lily in the office. She said she wanted time to herself. He could use some too. Lily was… pregnant. The thought was still sinking in. He was going to be a father… Assuming she wanted to keep it of course. What if she didn't? Part of him felt sad at the idea that she wouldn't want it. But they were 16. Or, she was. He had turned 17 in February. But they were still far to young to become parents. He didn't even want to think of what his mother would say. She didn't know about Lily, and now he had to tell her she was going to be a grandmother… To the child of a mudblood. The very idea was laughable. She would turn him out. He would never be allowed to set foot in that house again. And his uncle… He would be furious. 

'I'm getting ahead of myself again,' he thought. Until he knew if Lily was even going to keep the child, there was no point in him worrying. But he still couldn't help liking the thought. Him, Lily and a baby. 

*

Lily touched the parchment with her quill again, but a moment later she removed it, leaving a spot of ink. She was trying to write her parents a letter, telling them about the baby, but she had no idea how to start it. It wasn't that they were going to get angry. She knew they wouldn't. That was the problem really. They were just going to be disappointed, and that was a million times worse. She was already a disappointment to them as it was. She had been for the past six years. Since the day she got her letter.

The memory of that day was still frozen in her mind. Her mother bringing her the funny looking letter, Lily opening it and reading it out loud. The colour draining slowly from her sister's face as Lily read. Her father had stopped eating, the toast halfway to his mouth. When she had finished, there had been a long silence, and then a sudden, loud crash as Rose Evans had dropped her tea. Lily, a witch? She couldn't be. There was no such thing as magic.

All her future plans had changed right there. Her father was a veterinarian, and Lily had been helping him at the clinic for as long as she could remember. Since Petunia's only dream seemed to be ending up as a housewife, it had always been assumed Lily would be the one to take over her dad's practice. And she wanted to, she loved animals. But the letter had changed all that. Suddenly a wide range of new career options had opened up to her. She could have turned Hogwarts down, but at eleven, that hadn't even been an option. Looking back, she almost wished she had.

Lily put the parchment away. She couldn't tell them. Not yet. They didn't even know about Severus. Was she going to dump both a boyfriend and a baby on them at the same time? No, that was too much all at once. The only one Lily could imagine would be pleased was Petunia, but for all the wrong reasons. Petunia enjoyed nothing more than seeing Lily fail, and she was sure to see this as the ultimate failure. 

She checked her watch. A quarter past midnight. Her roommates were all asleep. Lily envied them. They didn't have any problems, unless you counted how to wear your hair a problem. Lily had never been close to the other three. They had been too different for that. And they were all purebloods, and even though it had never been said or hinted Lily got the feeling they looked down at her. She had been glad when she met Marianne. Marianne was halfblood, she couldn't care less about bloodlines. Whenever the subject came up, she would just shrug and say "We're all wizards here." 

The moon shone through the window and onto Lily's pillow. It was full tonight. Lily walked over to the window and looked down at the grounds. Astonished, she saw a stag standing on the grass. It was alert, it's gaze turned to the doors. Lily watched as they opened, and someone who looked remarkably like Sirius (though she couldn't really tell from this high up) emerged. He looked quickly around, and disappeared into the bushes next to the entrance. Lily waited for him to come back, but he didn't. Suddenly something large and black jumped out of the bushes. It looked like a big, black dog. It joined the stag, and they set across the grounds towards the Whomping Willow. Lily watched in amazement as the tree, which had been swinging its branches fiercely, suddenly froze up. The dog ducked into the shadows of it, and disappeared. The stag looked around the grounds again. Then, slowly, it started transforming. Lily gasped loudly as it turned into a boy. He turned his head quickly, and the moon reflected in his glasses. There was no mistaking him, even from where Lily was standing. It was James Potter. She watched as James too ducked into the shadows of the Willow and out of sight. 

Lily continued to watch the willow for what seemed like an eternity, but the two did not emerge. Should she fetch a teacher? What if they were in danger? Then she suddenly remembered what James had told her about Remus. She returned to her bed, closing the drapes to shut the moon out. 

So James and Sirius were Animagi. 

"Who knew," she muttered to herself. They had probably done it to be able to spend time with Remus. Werewolves weren't dangerous to other animals. But how had they gotten the Willow to freeze up? She knew about the knot, Severus had told her. But neither James nor Sirius had been close enough to press it when the tree had stiffened. Suddenly a line came to her. She had heard James say it a thousand times as a joke. "Peter, you little rat." Of course Peter was an Animagi too. A rat. He would be small enough to escape the branches, and press the little knot. 

"You think you know somebody," she muttered to herself, turning over. She pulled the Pensieve out from underneath her bed, and added her latest discovery to it before she turned pulled her blanket over her head and fell asleep.

*

"EXAMS?" 

"Yes, Mr. Black," McGonagall said. "Were you under the impression that you would not be getting any this year?" The class sniggered. 

"I'll fail Potions," Sirius muttered. "Avery's got it in for me." 

"Well, maybe if you if you spent more time paying attention and less time plotting to kill your classmates," Lily blurted out before she had time to think. 

Sirius grinned, and was about to make a remark back when James kicked him under the desk. 

"Shut up for once, Padfoot," he muttered, earning himself a confused look from Sirius. 

"Well, I hope we're not catching unicorns for our Care of Magical Creatures exam," Lucius said, earning him sniggers from the Slytherins. 

Lily went flushing red. 

"Put a plug in it, Malfoy," Sirius spat. "Before I do." 

"Don't bother," Lily whispered. "He's not worth it." 

*

Suddenly the students found themselves buried in books, studying for the exams. Lily spent most her time in the library, where she could sneak off behind the shelves to be alone. She had found a corner far in the back of the muggle-section that where no one ever came, and there she sat, trying to keep her mind on her exams. But it kept straying off. She had to decide what to do soon. She knew she couldn't keep the baby. She wasn't even sure she wanted it. It was too soon. What did she know about being a parent?

"Lily, I need a word." She startled, looking up at James. 

"Yes?" 

"Not here," he said, and she followed him out of the library. The walked down the hall a bit before James started talking. 

"I've been keeping and eye on you lately," he said carefully. "And you've not been yourself. I'm worried… is something the matter?" 

Lily shook her head. "No, why would there be?" 

"You've just seemed a bit… off," James said. "If something is wrong, you know you can talk to me." 

"Nothing's the matter, James," Lily assured him. "I'm fine." 

"Is it something to do with Snape?" he asked. 

"What on earth would he have to do with anything?" Lily laughed, her heart skipping a beat. 

"Lily, I know that you… and he." James stopped mid-sentence, looking expectantly at her. 

"You've got a very vivid imagination, James," she smiled. "Could you imagine Severus Snape in a relationship with a mudblood?" 

"If that mudblood is you; yes," James said, suddenly getting very interested in a spot on his shoe. 

"Well, I assure you he isn't," Lily smiled, her cheeks going red. 

"Lily, he's bad news," James started. 

"Why does everyone tell me that?" Lily interrupted. "It's all I've been hearing for weeks now. I wish people would just butt out. I can be friends with whoever I like." 

"Lily, his family has more dark wizards than all of England," James said. "Snape is." 

"Not like that," Lily interrupted. "When have you ever taken the time to get to know him? You don't know what he's like. As far as you're concerned, he's just someone you and the guys can practice your pranks on." 

"Lily, his father knew more dark arts than any wizard in the country," James said. "And Severus is no better." 

"He is," Lily said coldly. "And he's a million times better than you, James." 

She turned on her heel, and disappeared down the hall. James watched her turn the corner at the end of it. He sighed, and was about to head for the library again when a scream made him stop. It was followed by a terrible racket.  

"Lily," he said, hurrying after hear. He turned the corner, and stopped in front of the staircase. 

Lily was lying on the ledge below it, her books scattered around her. 

"Lily!" he shouted, hurrying down the stairs. He kneeled down next to her. "Lily, can you hear me?" 

She didn't react. 

"Lily!" 

He shook her slightly, not sure if she was injured, or how injured she was. 

"Lily, please," he whispered, stroking her cheek. 

"James! What is going on?" McGonagall was standing at the top of the stairs. 

"She fell," James started. "The stairs… she." 

McGonagall hurried down to them, kneeling next to Lily. 

"Miss Evans, can you hear me?" 

Lily didn't stir. 

"Miss Evans," McGonagall repeated in a harsher tone. "Lily, can you hear me?" 

Lily still lay motionless. 

"Go fetch Madam Pomfrey," McGonagall ordered. James didn't need to be told twice, and sped down the hall while McGonagall remained next to Lily's motionless body.

***

_Sorry, I just had to do the cliffhanger._

_Thanks again to all my reviewers._


	11. In Dreams

_A/N: Sorry I kept you hanging, I couldn't help myself. I still like reviews, thanks for all of them..._

***

Chapter 11 – In Dreams

***

Peter was surprised at his own reaction when his snow owl dropped the letter in his lap that Saturday night. Maybe he had imagined that he had been forgotten. It had been quite a while since he last heard from the man. Peter had actually been hoping he had been forgotten.

He hurried up to the dorm to avoid curious eyes, but when he opened the letter he found he'd had no reason to hide;

_Hogsmede, midnight._

It was not signed. Peter put it down on his nightstand, and the letter burst into flames, the ashes flying out of the open window.

'What can he possibly want now?' Peter thought, heading back down to the common room. It was eleven o'clock, and he hoped it would empty out by midnight. 'He hasn't requested anything of me in ages.'

He found James and the others in front of the fire, James looking a little off. 

"What's wrong?" Peter asked. James didn't reply. 

"Lily," Sirius said. "She… she fell down the stairs. She's unconscious." 

Peter gasped. "Will she be OK?" 

"We don't know," Sirius sighed. "Lucky Prongs was there so he could" 

He was interrupted by James getting up. 

"I'm going to bed," he said shortly. "Good night." 

"He's taking it hard," Peter pointed out when James was out of earshot. 

"No surprises there," Sirius muttered. "I'd better go and talk to him." 

"Prongs?" Sirius looked into the dorm. The drapes on James' bed were shut. 

"Prongs, I know you're awake," Sirius said, moving closer. No reply. 

"Listen, I know you're worried about Lily," Sirius started. "But I'm sure she'll be fine."  

Still no reply. 

"Fine," Sirius shrugged. "Good night, Prongs."

*

It wasn't a very cold night, but Peter still shivered as he stood under the tree waiting. Suddenly, the man appeared in front of him. 

"My lord," Peter said, bowing. 

"Peter," the man smiled. "It's been a while." 

"It has," Peter agreed. "What is it you need?" 

"I thought I told you to keep an eye on Potter," the man said. 

"And I have, my lord," Peter told him. 

"Clearly not good enough," the man said. "The mudblood. She is pregnant." 

"Lily?" Peter asked, amazed. "What… How do you know?" 

"I have my sources," the man said. 

"Well, I assure you it's not by James," Peter said. "They're not together. I follow him everywhere I can, I've never seen them together. And the way he acts… they can't be." 

"Are you sure about this?" the man asked. 

"Positive," Peter nodded eagerly.  "If Lily's pregnant, then it's by someone else, not James."

"Then I have nothing to worry about yet," the man said thoughtfully. "Continue to keep an eye on him, Peter. A close one." 

He disappeared with a 'pop'.

*

"Severus." 

He looked up from his homework. 

"Yes, Lucius?" 

"I want a word," Lucius said quietly, pulling up a chair. 

"No, there is still nothing going on between me and Evans," Severus said automatically. "So you still don't have to worry about me smudging the precious Slytherin name." 

"That's not what I wanted to talk about," Lucius said, leaning closer. "I supposed you've heard about him." 

"Who?" Severus asked, not the least bit interested. 

"Oh come on, you know who I mean," Lucius said quietly. 

"No, I really don't," Severus said, still bent over his homework. 

"How can you not?" Lucius said, sounding genuinely surprised. "With your uncle being a Death Eater and all." 

"A what?" Severus asked, suddenly interested. 

"A Death Eater," Lucius repeated. "You know, one of Lord Voldemort's supporters." 

"Who?" Severus asked, completely bewildered. 

"Honestly, don't you talk in your family?" Lucius hissed. "Lord Voldemort. The one behind the attack on that muggle-loving auror at Christmas." 

Severus froze. So that was what his uncle had meant. Lucius noticed the change in his face.

"I thought you knew," he smirked. "You should join him too, Severus"

"No thank you," Severus said quickly, gathering up his books. 

"You've got talent, Severus," Lucius said. "He wants you to join."

"He'll be disappointed then," Severus said, getting up.

"Don't ruin your only chance of making something of yourself," Lucius called after him. "Especially not for a mudblood." 

The hex hit Lucius before he had time to think, and he flew back against the wall. Severus stuck his wand back in his robes. 

"I warned you," he said indifferently, heading for the dorms.

*

When Lily woke, she found herself in a bed. Sunlight was shining through the window. 

"Lily, thank God." Pomfrey was leaning over her. 

"Where am I?" Lily asked, trying to sit up. 

"In the hospital wing," Pomfrey said. "And lie down, you need rest." 

"What happened," Lily muttered, rubbing her aching arm. 

"You fell down the stairs," Pomfrey said. "You've been out since yesterday afternoon." 

"I remember," Lily muttered. "I forgot about the fake step. I was mad at James, and I was hurrying." 

Suddenly she sat up in bed. 

"The baby," she said, looking up at Pomfrey. 

"Lie down, Lily," Pomfrey ordered. "You need rest." 

"The baby," Lily repeated firmly. 

"I'm sorry," Pomfrey sighed. 

"It's gone?" Lily asked, and the nurse nodded. 

Lily lay back in bed. 

"You weren't that far along," Pomfrey explained. "And it doesn't take much this early on. I'm so sorry, Lily." 

Lily turned over. 

"Shall I leave you alone for a bit?" Pomfrey offered, and Lily nodded. 

"I don't want to see anyone," she whispered. 

Pomfrey retreated quietly.

"She'll be fine, Minerva," she assured McGonagall. 

"That's a relief," she sighed. "It looked bad for a while." 

"It did," Pomfrey agreed. 

"Was she really pregnant?" McGonagall asked, and Pomfrey startled. 

"How did you know?" 

"I heard her just now," McGongall said. "It is true?" 

"I'm afraid so," Pomfrey sighed. 

"Poor girl," McGongall said. "Should I talk to her, Poppy?" 

"No," Pomfrey said. "She'll think I told you. That I betrayed her trust. She'll need someone to trust now." 

McGonagall only nodded.

"Have you heard from Madam Nitgale?" she asked instead, changing the subject. Pomfrey shook her head. 

"Not a word. But something funny happened yesterday. I was off to tell the Headmaster about it when James came about Lily." 

"Is something wrong?" McGonagall asked. 

"Yes, in a way," Pomfrey nodded. "Someone's been into our files. I can't imagine how, the cabinet is sealed by magic. Only me and Kirsten (Nitgale) can open them." 

"Do you think she's been here?" McGonagall asked. 

"I don't know," Pomfrey said. "It must have been her. But it's all so strange. Why didn't she let me know she was back? She must know we are worried about her." 

"I will tell Albus," McGonagall said. "Did she take anything with her?" 

"No," Pomfrey said. "And by the looks of it, she only read one file." 

"Which one?" McGonagall asked. 

"Lily's."

*

"She's over there," Pomfrey said, not looking the least bit surprised to see him. 

"Thanks," he muttered, hurrying over to the ward Pomfrey had pointed to. 

She looked pale against the white sheets on the bed. Her red hair was spread out across the pillow. She looked up when he entered, and tried to smile. 

"How are you feeling," he asked carefully. 

"Empty," she said hoarsely. "It's gone, Severus. The baby…" 

"I know," he nodded. He sat down on the bed, and Lily hoisted herself up. 

"I'm sorry," she whispered. 

"For what?" he asked. 

"The baby," she started, and he shook his head. 

"It's not your fault, you know that." 

He found her hand under the covers, and pressed it. 

"It is my fault," she said quietly. "I didn't want it. That's why this happened." 

"That's not true, and you know it," he said. 

She started crying, and he pulled her close to him. 

"Strange, isn't it?" she sobbed. "I didn't want it, and here I am, crying because I lost it." 

He was going to say something when the door creaked open. They both froze. 

"Mr. Potter, what are you doing here?" Pomfrey's voice asked. 

"He can't find me," Severus whispered, but Lily hushed him. 

"I wanted to see how Lily was doing," James' voice replied. 

"She's resting," Pomfrey told him. "She's going to be fine. Why don't you come by in the morning." 

"OK," James said. "Will you tell her I was here, and everybody sends their best wishes?" 

"I will," Pomfrey assured him. 

Severus didn't dare breathe until he heard the door close again. 

"Pomfrey knows," Lily whispered. 

"I guessed," he nodded. "It's late, I've gotta get back." He kissed her forehead. "I'll come by tomorrow… I love you." 

She smiled, more genuinely this time. "I love you too."

*

James did not head back to Gryffindor tower. Instead, he threw on the cloak, and hunched behind a suit of armour in the hallway. It didn't take long for the door to creak open again. He peered out from behind the armour, just in time to see Snape emerge from the hospital wing. He looked quickly around before he hurried down another corridor. James sat back against the wall. 

"I knew it," he muttered to himself. 

*

"There's someone to see you," Pomfrey said. "Shall I send him in." 

"Sure," Lily nodded, hoping it would be Severus. She was more than a little disappointed when James walked in. 

"You're awake," he smiled. "That's good, we were worried. How are you feeling?" 

"Beaten," Lily replied shortly. 

James moved awkwardly. "Listen, I'm sorry," he started. 

"Don't be," Lily interrupted. "It was my own fault." 

"Lily, I" 

"James, I'm kind of tired," she sighed. "I don't really want to see anyone." 

"You had time for Snape last night," he pointed out before he could stop himself. 

"Not this again," Lily moaned. "Just leave, James." 

"Lily?" 

She had already turned over. 

"Fine," he sighed. "I'll see you later." 

*

Lily stayed in the hospital wing for a week. James didn't come back, but the other guys came. She pretended to be tired when they were there, hoping they would leave sooner. She didn't want to see anyone. Except Severus. He came at night, often after bedtime, and stayed as long as Pomfrey let him. 

"I think I can discharge you tomorrow," Pomfrey said on Friday. 

"Really?" Lily tried to sound genuinely enthusiastic, but Pomfrey saw through her. 

"Lily, I'm still here if you want to talk," she said softly. "I can understand you're hurting. You've been through a big trauma, it's perfectly natural to feel" 

"I'm fine," Lily said interrupted. 

"Well, I'm still here," Pomfrey said. "Anytime." 

"Thanks," Lily muttered. "You won't tell anyone, will you? My parents?" 

"About the baby?" Pomfrey shook her head. "Don't worry about that. Try to get some sleep now, and you can go in the morning. Good night." 

"Night," Lily muttered. 

She turned over, and after about an hour of tossing and turning, she finally fell asleep. 

*

She found herself in a bedroom. A nursery, she decided. A woman was standing in a corner, next to a blue crib. She was cradling a bundle of blankets, whispering to them. 

"There there, it will be all right. Don't cry sweetie." 

But the baby in the blankets didn't seem to want to listen, it only cried louder.

Suddenly Lily became aware of the terrible racket from outside the door. It sounded like someone was downstairs, tearing down the house. The woman hugged the baby, crying. 

"Please," she whispered. "Please, someone help." 

Suddenly a loud scream rose above the noise downstairs. It had to be the scream of a man. The woman froze. 

"No," she whispered. "No, please. Please don't let it be James." 

A second later the door was blasted open, and a cloaked and hooded figure stood in the doorway. 

"Get away from me," the woman cried, her voice trembling. 

"I will," the man said. "If you give me your child." 

The woman held the bundle closer. 

"No, please," she whispered. "Not Harry. Kill me instead." 

"It will make no difference to me if I have to kill you both," the man said. "Step aside, you silly girl. Save your own life." 

"No!" the woman cried. 

"Then you leave me no choice," the man said, raising his wand. 

There was a blinding, green flash, and Lily woke with a start.

It took her a second to realize that she was back in the hospital wing. The dream, it had been so vivid. And that woman. 

'She looked just like me, only older.' Lily thought. She wondered where the dream had come from. 

'The baby,' she decided. She had dreamt about herself, with a child, being killed. It was because of the abortion. But the dream had seemed so real. 

"I just need to go back to sleep," she muttered. "It was just a nightmare, I'll have forgotten it by tomorrow." 

*

The Saturday Lily was discharged, most of the students were in Hogsmede. She was certain James and the boys were there too, but she still decided against going to the Gryffindor common room. Instead, she headed for the office. Maybe Severus would be there. 

She found the office empty, but decided to stay. She had sent him an owl telling him to meet her there later. She lit the fire and lay back on the couch. It didn't take long before she fell asleep.

She was awakened by something wet on her cheek. She opened her eyes, and found that a tiny ginger kitten was sitting on top of her, licking her face. 

"Hello there," she said, sitting up, and scratching the kitten's ear. It purred happily. 

"And who might you be?" Lily asked. 

"Herkules," a voice said. For a second Lily just started at the kitten, wondering just how hard she had hit her head. 

"The cat did not just talk," she muttered. "Cats don't talk." 

"Don't we?" the voice said, and Lily startled. Then she realized she knew that voice. 

"Severus?" she said carefully, and his head popped up from behind the couch. 

"About time you woke up, sleeping beauty," he smiled, kissing her. "He's been crawling around on you for five minutes." 

Hercules was rubbing himself against Lily's arm. 

"Who's is he?" she asked. 

"Yours," Severus said. "I got him for you today. I figured you might need some cheering up." 

Lily didn't know what to say; she just kept staring at Hercules. 

"Don't you like him?" Severus asked anxiously. 

"I love him," she said, leaning up to kiss him. "Thank you."  

But at that point Hercules decided he wasn't getting enough attention, and sunk his little teeth into Lily's finger. 

"Oh, I'm sorry," Lily teased, "did we forget about you for a split second?" 

The kitten meowed, and curled up on her lap. 

"I see I have competition for your attention," Severus smiled, scratching Hercules' ear. 

"Won't people figure out who gave him to me, though?" Lily asked. 

"I don't think anyone saw me with him," Severus shrugged. "Though I did have a hard time explaining to Avery why my cloak was squealing." 

For the first time that week, Lily laughed.

*

"A-a cat?" Peter stared at Hercules with an expression very much like panic. 

"Yes," Lily said, ignoring his tone. "Isn't he adorable?" 

"Very," Peter said, though he still looked frightened. He reached out a hand to pat Herkules, but the kitten hissed angrily at him. 

"Knows his rats, that one," Sirius muttered to Remus. 

"Who gave him to you?" James asked. 

"My parents," Lily snapped. "Why?" 

"Just wondered," James muttered. 

Sirius shot him a quick, confused look, but James pretended not to see it. 

*

"Wanna tell me what that was all about?" Sirius asked James later that night. 

"What?" James said. 

"You, Lily. She sounded about ready to bite your head off," Sirius pointed out. 

"Yeah, well she's got reason to," James sighed. "It was kinda my fault, her falling. I said some things, and she got mad at me." 

"It's been a week," Sirius said. "Lily's hardly the person to hold a grudge, so something else is clearly wrong." 

"Clearly," James muttered. 

"What did you two talk about?" Sirius asked. 

"Nothing," James said shortly. 

"She can't hate you for nothing," Sirius said. "You never used to keep secrets from me, Prongs. Why are you starting now?" 

"Because you're turning into a prying twit!" James snapped. "Will you just give the Lily thing a bloody rest?!" 

He closed the drapes around his bed, leaving Sirius staring blankly at them. 

"Idiot," he muttered.

***

_OK, notes;_

_Phoenix Firefly; I've actually never seen Sliding Doors, so that was pure coincidence :)_

_madam-pyro: I know, me too... but alas_

_the Desert Fox: Is this going to remain a LP/SS or will it become a LP/JP fic? This part is a Severus/Lily fic, but part two will (inevetably) be Lily/James in the end :(_

_Thanks a million for all the reviews!_


	12. Follow your instincts

_I know, I know *ducks all that's being pelted at her by angry, waiting readers* I've been so busy, and had a little lack of inspiration. But it's here now, and if it's any comfort; Chapter 13 is already well in progress._

_Also, a BIG thank you to my new beta-reader, Isa! Give  her a round of applause people!_

Chapter 12 – Follow your instincts

***

"Boomslang skin, powdered snaketeeth, tried mandrake leafs." Lily looked expectantly up at Severus, who motioned for her to keep going. 

"Er, gillyweed… aspholdel?" He shook his head and Lily groaned. 

"I'm gonna fail," she complained, throwing down the quill she had been toying with. It soared softly to the floor, and lay there for a second before Hercules jumped out from behind the sofa and attacked it, shredding it within seconds. 

"You're not going to fail," Severus said calmly. "Just relax." 

"How can I?" she objected. "The exams are two weeks away, Severus. Two weeks. And I don't know _anything_!" 

"That's not true," he said. "You only missed on ingredient. Calm down." 

He put the book away and joined her on the sofa, sliding his arm around her waist. 

"You'll be fine," he whispered, kissing her. "You'll pas all your exams. Better yet, you'll probably get top marks. And you'll make Head Girl." 

She smiled slightly, and he kissed her forehead. 

"That's better," he whispered. 

"What would I do without you?" she asked, snuggling up in his arms. 

"You'd be in the Gryffindor common room with four boys to calm you down rather than just the one," he said. 

"You mean I'd be calming them down," Lily smiled. "You should have heard Peter yesterday. I think he'd prefer camping out in the Forbidden Forrest to taking these exams." 

"Well, _he_ has reason to worry," Severus laughed, but stopped when he saw the look on Lily's face. 

"Look, you'll be fine," he assured her again. 

"He wouldn't fail me because of use, would he?" Lily asked suddenly. 

"He can't," Severus said, though he sounded far from sure. "He wouldn't." 

Lily didn't say anything, and they both sat in silence for a while.

"I want you to come visit this summer," Lily said finally, changing the subject. "Do you want to?" 

"Of course," he smiled. 

"Good," she said. "I can't wait to introduce you to my parents. And Petunia, of course." 

"Your friend?" 

"My sister," Lily said. "She hates me. She has ever since I started Hogwarts." 

"Jealous?" Severus asked, but Lily shook her head. 

"Terrified more like. Terrified that any of her posh friends should find out about her 'abnormal' sister." Lily attempted a laugh, but it came out more of a snort. 

"She'll hate me too then?" Severus asked, and Lily nodded. 

"With passion, no doubt. It'll be fun." 

*

"Lily, where have you been all day?" Sirius cried, frantically waving his Charms book at her. "We're dying here." 

Lily laughed. 

"You should have thought of that seven months ago," she said. 

"I don't need to think," Sirius grinned. "I've got you. Now, please explain Fusion charms to me before I throw this thing out the window." He waved the book dangerously.

"I'm surprised to see you all here," Lily said, flipping through Sirius' book. "Don't you have better things to do on a night like this? Full moon and all." 

Sirius stopped grinning immediately, and from his chair in front of the fire Peter spluttered. Lily, realizing the moment she said it that she had said too much, cursed silently. 

"Why would we have anywhere else to be on a night with a full moon," Sirius asked nervously, Fusion charms suddenly forgotten. 

"No reason," Lily said quickly. "Never mind, I must be more tired than I think. I'll just head for bed. Good night, boys." 

She got up to go to her dorm, but James grabbed her arm. 

"Not so fast," he said. "Do you _know_ something you're not supposed to?" 

"That depends," Lily started, desperately trying to find some way of talking herself out of the situation. 

"Lily," James said sternly. 

"All right," Lily sighed. "Yes, I know the three of you are Animagi." 

Peter spluttered again, dropping his book. James and Sirius just stared at her. 

"How?" Sirius demanded. 

"I saw you," Lily said. "You might wanna be a bit more careful with where you transform you know, being that you are _illegal_ Animagi." 

"Lily, you can't tell anyone," James said quickly. 

"I'm not going to," Lily said calmly. "But really guys, I thought we were friends. You could have let me in on the fun." 

"Fun is hardly the word," Sirius muttered. "Are you aware of how long it took us?" 

"Well, your secret's safe with me," Lily assured him. "Who would I tell anyway?" 

"Snape," Sirius said, and Lily laughed. 

"Why on earth would I tell him?" 

"I don't know," Sirius said. "You two've been getting awful friendly lately. How do we know he's not milking you for information?" 

"Oh please, Sirius," Lily sighed. "Do you really think I'd do that? Besides, if that were the case I could have fed him enough by now to have you expelled five times over." 

Sirius still looked suspicious. 

"Aw, c'mon," Lily said. "I'm tutoring him, that's all. Don't you guys trust me?" 

Nobody answered. 

"Of course we trust you," James said finally, as the other two seemed to make no sign of talking. 

"Thanks," Lily smiled. "Goodnight boys." 

Sirius waited until he heard the door close before he turned to James. 

"Trust her do we?" he hissed. 

"Of course we do," James shrugged. "Lily would never." 

"Don't speak for the rest of us just because you're… blinded by love," Sirius spat. 

"Not this again," James moaned. "I'm not in love with her, how much does it take to beat that into your impressively thick skull?" 

Peter snuck quietly up the stairs, knowing better than to stay in the same room as Sirius and James when they were having a row. The last time Sirius had ended up with an extra nose. 

"I know it's a hard blow, loosing her to the likes of Snape," Sirius continued. "I can perfectly understand you're in denial. But don't take it out on the rest of us." 

"I haven't lost anything," James countered. "And besides, Lily says they're just friends and I believe her." 

"Lily could tell you the world was flat and you'd believe her," Sirius muttered. 

"Whatever floats you boat, Padfoot," James said, heading for the stairs. "I don't need to listen to this. Goodnight." 

"You just might be the biggest idiot in Britain, Prongs," Sirius called after him. 

"No, I think you're still the leading authority on that," James called, slamming the door behind him.

*

June came with rain, which suited most of the students fine as they didn't much like the idea of doing their exams when the sun was shining outside. But by the time the exams started, the rain clouds had all been chased away by bright sunlight, and on the morning Lily made her way to their first exam, Potions, she actually looked forward to the freezing dungeon. She had stayed up late the night before studying ingredients and mixes but she still felt sure she would fail. 

Even Avery's dungeon wasn't its same, freezing self in this heat wave, but Lily had other worries beside the temperature. She shuffled desperately through some last minute reading when, to the whole class' surprise, Professor Sprout emerged from Avery's office. 

"What's up?" Sirius asked. "Where's Avery?" 

"I'm afraid Professor Avery has gone missing," Sprout said, sound rather surprised herself. "He left on personal business this weekend, and didn't return as planned last night." 

The whole class looked surprised, and Lily exchanged a quick look with Severus, who just shrugged slightly. 

"I'm afraid you exam will be cancelled," Sprout continued. "You may all go." 

Another quick look at Severus confirmed where she'd find him.

*

There was a careful knock on the door, and Albus Dumbledore looked up from his book. 

"Enter," he said, and a short man in dark blue robes and a bowler hat entered. 

"Aw, Cornelius," Dumbledore smiled. "I have been expecting you. Take a seat." 

He motioned to one of the chairs on front of the desk, and Cornelius Fudge sat down, nervously removing his bowler. 

"I trust you have news for me," Dumbledore said, and Fudge nodded. 

"Bad news I'm afraid, Albus," he said, spinning his hat. "We… we've found Madame Nitgale." 

"And," Dumbledore said calmly. 

"Well, she's not dead," Fudge said. "She… I'm afraid she has gone mad, Albus. We can't get a decent word out of her." 

"Where is she now?" Dumbledore asked. 

"St. Mugo's," Fudge said quickly. "Albus, I'm worried. This… 'problem'. It's getting out of hand. The ministry is helpless; we have no clues to go by. I fear the Minister will have to resign." 

He looked expectantly up at Dumbledore, who said nothing. 

"We need someone new," Fudge continued. "Someone with proper knowledge in such fields." Again he looked expectantly at Dumbledore, who smiled slightly. 

"I know what you are going to ask me, Cornelius" he said slowly. "But I must respectfully decline. In such times, my place is here at the school, with my students." 

"But Albus," Fudge said. "If the press get hold of this… It will be madness." 

"My dear Cornelius," said Dumbledore calmly, "it already is." 

"There's no way I can convince you, is there?" Fudge asked, and Dumbledore shook his head. 

"Very well," Fudge sighed. "I must get back to London. Goodbye, Albus." 

He put his bowler back on, and left.

*

"I wonder what happened to Avery," Lily said. 

It had been an hour since they Sprout had let them go, and Lily and Severus had both snuck off to the office. He slid his arm around her naked waist and kissed her brow. 

"I don't know," he said, and added with a slight smile; "But at least you don't have to worry about your exam anymore." 

"Don't say that," Lily said. "I mean, what if something terrible's happened to him. What if he's… " 

"Dead?" Severus finished, and Lily nodded. 

"I don't know," he sighed. "And honestly, I don't want to think about it now. I have to be in class in 45 minutes." He kissed her. "And I'd rather not waste our time."

*

When Lily woke that Thursday morning, she was remarkably calm, considering she had an exam in an hour's time. But of all her exams, this was the one Lily was the least worried about; Divination. She tucked her battered tarots into her bag (Trewlany had hinted she might test them on that) and made her way down to the Great Hall for breakfast. Most of the other students seemed to already have gone down, and the halls were empty. Lily turned a corner, and suddenly someone pulled her into an empty classroom. 

"Severus?" she smiled, slightly surprised to see him. 

"Good morning to you too," he said dryly, kissing her. "I wanted to wish you good luck while I still had the chance." 

"Thanks, same to you," Lily smiled. "What do you have today?" 

"Advanced Defence against the dark arts," Severus sighed. 

"You'll no doubt be fine then," Lily said. 

"Let's hope so," he muttered. "Can I see you tonight?" 

"Of course," Lily nodded. "Around seven?" 

"Sounds good," he whispered, kissing her quickly. "I'll see you then." 

He slipped out the door, and Lily waited a few minutes before she left herself.

The rest of the class had already arrived in the tower when Lily came up the stairs half an hour later. Most of them looked about as calm as she did. Three years of Trewlany's class had taught them the tricks they needed to pas. 

Lily sank down on the floor, shuffling her cards. After waiting for half an hour, she was called in. 

Trewlany's office was stuffy and hot, and wrapped in its usual pink mist. Thankfully, Lily noted, a window was open near Trewlany's desk. She sat down, trying to blow away as much of the incense as possible, as discreetly as possible. 

"I would like you to do a tarot reading," Trewlany said in her airy voice. "Would you please chose the deck that you feel speaks to you?" 

She waved her hand towards four decks on the table. 

"Actually, " Lily said, rummaging her bag, "I remembered you said we might be doing one, so I brought my own." 

She found the cards and placed them on the table. Trewlany smiled approvingly. 

"That's good," she said. "You'll gain an advantage by using cards that already know you. They will speak to you better." 

"That's what I was thinking," Lily said. "I prefer my own cards. Who am I going to read? Am I supposed to just pick someone randomly?" 

"I'll pick for you," said Trewlany. 

She held her wand over a bowl, and a white note flew out of it. "Severus Snape," she said. 

Lily almost laughed out loud. 

"Well, that should not be a problem," Trewlany said. "I doubt you know him. And even if you did, a true seer could look past such things and see be objective." 

"Of course," Lily nodded, struggling to remain serious. "Do you want me to do a particular reading?" she asked. 

"Follow your instincts," Trewlany said. "And take your time." 

Lily shuffled the cards, closing her eyes. The horoscope would be a good spread, she decided. That way, she could keep an eye on him and see if she had been right. She started laying out the cards, explaining to Trewlany as she went along.

An hour later Lily was out of the stuffy classroom, feeling as if her birthday had come early. The exam had gone splendidly, and by the sound, and look of Trewlany, she was looking at top marks. She made a mental note to tell Severus he needed to watch out for family conflicts in July as she hurried down the stairs from the tower. With the rest of the day off, she decided to go back to the dorm to fetch her books and find a sunny spot outside where she could study for her Arithmancy exam.

When she scrambled through the portrait hole, she found the common room empty except for one person. James Potter was sitting on the sofa, staring into the air. 

"James," Lily said carefully, but he didn't react. 

"James," she said a little louder, and he turned his head to look at her. Lily instantly noticed the tears. 

"James, what's wrong?" she asked, hurrying over to him. 

"My uncle," James said quietly. "He… he died yesterday evening." 

"Oh James, I'm so sorry," Lily whispered. "When did you find out?" 

"Just now," James said absent-mindedly. "I'm supposed to be doing an exam right now, but." 

He shrugged. Lily put her arm around him. 

"If you need to talk," she offered, but he shook his head. 

"Thanks for offering though," he said, looking up at her. "I thought you never wanted to speak to me again." 

Lily smiled vaguely. "It's impossible to stay mad at you, you should know that by now."

James attempted a smile too. 

"You're an angel, Lily, do you know that?" he said. "Don't ever change." 

"I think you might be exaggerating just a bit," Lily blushed. 

"No, I mean it," James said. "You're just…" He stopped, shaking his head. "Never mind," he muttered. 

Lily hugged him. 

"You're not so bad yourself, James," she whispered, and he smiled, more genuinely this time. Their eyes met, and for a second they just held the gaze. Then James started leaning slowly closer to her. Just in time, Lily pulled away. 

"James, I'm sorry but," 

"I know, I know," James interrupted, looking down. "I'm sorry." 

"No, don't be," Lily started. "I just… it's complicated." 

James nodded. "I know," he said again. "Let's just forget it almost happened." 

Lily nodded, and there was an awkward silence. 

"I still have two free shoulders if you need one," Lily said at last. James just nodded. 

'You really are an angel, Lily,' he thought to himself.

*

Severus threw himself on the sofa, rubbing the wound on his arm. His exam had been duelling professor McDowen, and even though Severus had come out the winner, his professor had still managed to hit him with a few nasty curses. 

"You've got talent there, my lad," he had said afterwards. "You might want to look into a career as an auror." 

Severus had only nodded. Somehow, he didn't see himself as one.

He looked up at the grandfather clock, which was half past 'lunch'. He hadn't found Lily in the great hall, which was why he had headed for the office. He lay back on the sofa, convinced she would show up soon enough, and before long he fell asleep.

When he woke up, the clock read 'Almost bedtime'. He was still alone, and there was no sign that Lily had been there at all. 

'She just forgot,' he told himself, getting off the sofa, but he didn't manage to convince himself. Why would she forget?

*

It wasn't until Lily crawled into bed near midnight that she remembered her date with Severus. She was halfway out of bed before realizing what time it was, and that Severus probably had gone back to his dorm. She would have to pull him aside after Transfiguration tomorrow and explain, though she wasn't very keen to tell him she had forgotten about their date because she had spent the evening with James. 

*

To Lily's surprise, Severus accepted her reason right away. 

"Poor James," was all he said, causing Lily to just stare at him. 

"What, I do have feeling you know," Severus said, sounding somewhat insulted. 

"So you're not upset?" Lily asked, still astounded. 

"Of course not," he lied, kissing her. 

*

The last couple of days flew away, and before she knew it Lily was standing on the platform with her things packed all around her and a report card that would make any parent beam. Sirius had given it one glance before he pronounced her the new Head Girl. 

"And Prongs here the new Head Boy, of course. You'll make quite the pair." 

She caught Severus eye across the platform, and he gave her a quick smile before he boarded the train. Lily hurried inside too before James and the boys found her and demanded she share their compartment. She made her way to the back of the train with Hercules poking his head out of the pocket of her robes, and entered the last compartment. A few moments later, Severus showed up. He closed the door, drawing the blinders. Lily slipped her arms around his waist, and locked the door. 

"Should I be worried?" he teased, and Lily winked seductively. 

"I thought so," he smiled, pulling her closer and kissing her. 

The train ride seemed all too short. When they pulled into Kings Cross, Lily had fallen asleep against Severus' shoulder. He shook her carefully to wake her. 

"Here already?" Lily muttered sleepily. 

"Yes, and I'd better go so we're not seen together," he said, getting up. Lily got to her feet too, and embraced him. 

"I'll miss you," she whispered against his lips. 

"And I you," he assured her. "I'll write you to work out when I can come visit." 

Lily nodded. He kissed her quickly and slipped out of the compartment.

The platform was full of the usual mayhem of people hugging, mothers trying to flatten their son's hair while saying "You've grown so much" and people pushing through the crowd to get their luggage. Lily's parents would be waiting on the other side of the barrier. While getting her luggage, she spotted Severus a few feet away talking to a woman with long, dark brown hair. Despite the fact that Severus looked nothing like her, it was obviously his mother. 

After waiting in line for half an hour, Lily got through the barrier. Her parents were waiting just outside. 

"Lily, how good to see you," her mother smiled, hugging her. 

"Where's Petunia?" Lily asked. 

"She had to work," her mother said, but Lily knew that was a lie. 

"Have a nice summer, Lily." 

Lily spun around, surprise to hear Severus' voice. 

"You too," she called after him as he disappeared into the crowd. 

"Who was that?" her mother asked, looking after Severus. 

"Just a friend from school," Lily said with a smile. There would be plenty of time to explain later.

***

_I have to admit, I've been looking forward to writing Severus meeting Petunia for ages! And Vernon. And that's the next chapter. Also, Lily learns a few things about Severus she might not have seen coming... _

_Thanks for all the lovly reviews. Keep 'em coming!_


	13. Summer Nights

_Ahem, yes. I know. No need to tell me. Besides, I've been twisting my brain to try and figure out how to add as much of OotP as possible without having to change my story._

Anyway, I was hoping I'd get summer done in one chapter, but it's gonna be two, so those things Lily where supposed to find out; Next chapter. 

The chapter title in this one should be a given…Enjoy

Oh and there's a Metatron reference in here somewhere. I challenge you to find it (shouldn't be too hard)

***

Chapter 13 – Summer Nights

*** 

Even though Lily usually spent the better part of her summers longing to go back to Hogwarts, it was always a good feeling to drop her bag onto her bed again. Her room hadn't changed much in the past six years; the same pink wallpaper, a small collection of teddy bears and a bookshelf full of books related to animals and animal care. A few magic-related books had been added over the years, but they were well hidden. Not that anyone but Lily and her mother ever came into the room. Petunia seemed to be afraid she would be cursed just by opening the door, which suited Lily fine since she really didn't want her sister in her room in the first place.

She lay down on her bed staring up at the ceiling, thinking about the year she'd had. Memories of Severus and Marianne kept drifting in and out of her mind until Lily fell asleep, clutching her blanket.

*

The Snape residence hadn't changed in about two hundred years, so Severus was not surprised to find it hadn't changed this year either. His trunk was almost torn from his hands by their house-elf, Nofu, leaving Severus with nothing to do but sink into his favourite chair in the library. He pulled a random book from the shelves and started reading. His mother left him alone, for which he was grateful. He knew he would be giving full account of his school year soon enough, and right now he needed to be alone. His eyes might be on the book, but his mind was somewhere completely different. He didn't like admitting it to himself, but he was more than a little nervous about meeting Lily's parents. Something told him he wouldn't quite fit into a muggle family. And he'd seen that look on her mother's face. He imagined he'd be seeing it again when he was properly introduced to her. He really couldn't blame her though; he doubted he looked like the ideal son-in-law. 

And Petunia… Though, he was actually looking forward to meeting her. If she was really as freaked about the magical world as Lily had told him, she might have been right; it would be fun.

*

"I've invited someone to come visit," Lily told her mother later that day. "A... friend from school." 

"That's wonderful, dear," her mother smiled, handing Lily another plate to dry. "When will she be arriving?" 

"He," Lily corrected her, going flushing red. "He's coming some time next week." 

Her mother turned to look at her. 

"He?" she asked. "Do you mean he's your?" 

"Boyfriend, yes," Lily muttered. 

"Well... How long?" Rose demanded, utterly surprised. "Why haven't you told me?" 

"Since before Christmas, "Lily said, still scarlet-faced. 

"Oh, is it that James Potter?" her mother asked, suddenly interested. "I always thought he was a handsome one." 

Lily sighed. "No, it's not James Potter. It has never been James Potter, and believe you me; it will never be James Potter!" 

"All right, all right" her mother laughed, "I get it. It's not James. But who is it then?" 

"You saw him at the station," Lily said. 

"That boy who wished you a nice summer?" Rose Evans frowned for a short second. 

"Don't judge a book by its cover, mum," Lily said. "Severus is great." 

"That's an interesting name," Rose remarked. "He's a fullblood wizard I take it?" 

"Yes, and he's in Slytherin," Lily added. Her mother froze. 

"Didn't you say all of them were dark wizards?" 

"Almost all of them," Lily said. "Severus isn't."

Rose eyed her daughter carefully. 

"Well, I'm sure you know what you're doing, Lily," she said at last. "And Severus is very welcome."

"_Who_ is Severus?" 

Lily turned and smiled at Petunia. "My boyfriend from school. He's coming to visit next week."

What little colour Petunia's face had, drained immediately. 

"What?" she almost whispered. 

"My boyfriend," Lily repeated. "He's coming to visit next week."

"But, but… he can't," Petunia stuttered. "Mum, he can't. You know Vernon is coming next week."

"I don't see how that's going to be a problem," Rose shrugged. "We have plenty of spare rooms."

Petunia clearly had a comment ready, but she just bit her lip, shooting Lily a very nasty look. 

"I wouldn't worry about Vernon," Lily said, ignoring it. "He's a big boy; he can take care of himself."   
Petunia didn't answer, only turned on her heel and left the room. 

*

The rest of the week passed all too slowly. Petunia was still furious with Lily, and giving her the silent-treatment. Not that they talked much as it was, but Petunia had taken to pretending Lily didn't exist, which really suited Lily just fine. She had nothing to apologize for, and at least now she didn't have to suffer those (very few) comments she usually got.

On the day Severus was meant to arrive, Lily was on her bed reading, when Petunia's head popped in the door. She looked like it had taken her a lot of effort. 

"Yes?" Lily said, pretending nothing was up

Petunia scanned the room quickly, as if she was afraid Severus was waiting to jump out from somewhere. 

"I was just wondering," she said nervously. "When will he be arriving?" 

Lily checked her watch casually. 

"He should be here any minute," she smiled. "Why?" 

"Just curious," Petunia said quickly. "More importantly, how"   
She was interrupted by a loud crack, and Severus appearing only inches from her. Petunia shrieked and ran from the room, leaving Severus behind staring after her. 

"Your sister, I take it?" he asked, stuffing his wand in his pocket. 

"The one and only," Lily sighed, swinging herself of the bed. 

"I see someone passed his apparation-test," she smiled, greeting him with a kiss. "I didn't know you'd turned 17. When was your birthday?" 

"February 4th," he muttered.

"And you didn't tell me?!" Lily burst out. 

"Well, I didn't think… it wasn't that important," Severus shrugged. "You had so much on your mind." 

"Well, that means I owe you a present," Lily said firmly.

"You don't," he protested.

"Will you let me get you a present for once?" Lily interrupted. "You've been"

"What's all this screaming about?"

Lily spun around to face her father. Severus' arm slipped swiftly from her waist. Thankfully, John Evans only smiled. 

"Ah, you must be." He paused, searching for the word. "Sirius." 

Lily felt like she could have sunk into the floor. Severus seemed to take it a lot nicer than her though. 

"Severus," he corrected John. 

"Of course, yes," Lily's father smiled apologetically. "I'm terrible with names, sorry. John Evans." He held out his hand, and Severus shook it. 

"Pleasure to meet you." 

'So far, so good,' Lily thought to herself. 

"Well, _Severus_, I wish I could say I've heard a lot about you," John smiled. "But Lily's been very good at keeping you a secret."

Severus only nodded, clearly not quite certain how he should reply to that. 

"Severus, why don't I show you to your room?" Lily suggested before her father had time to question him any further. She grabbed his hand and dragged Severus from the room, leaving John Evans behind, chuckling.

"I am so sorry," Lily said as soon as her father was out of earshot. "I've told him your name a million times."

Severus only smiled. 

"Don't worry about it," he whispered, and then added with amusement. "I'd love to see how Sirius had taken it though."

*

Petunia was nowhere to be seen at dinner that night. Rose tried to excuse her, saying she had to go off to see a friend who was ill, but Lily knew she was doing her best to avoid Severus. 

She wasn't missed though. Lily had been a little bit nervous about how her parents would feel about Severus, but five minutes into dinner it became clear she had worried for no reason. He had managed to get Lily's father talking about his veterinary practice, and was now listening with what could only be genuine interest. Rose caught Lily's eye and winked. Clearly, she too liked him. 

*

The next morning Lily came down to breakfast, and found Severus was already there. "Someone's up early," she remarked.

"Severus was just telling me he wants to become an Auror," John said, clearly having no idea what it was but being very impressed none the less.

"You never told me that," Lily frowned, diving into the fridge for a bottle of milk. 

"You never asked," Severus shrugged.

The conversation was interrupted by Petunia entering the room. She spotted Severus all too late to make an escape, and with what must have taken all her strength, she smiled at him (if you could call it a smile). 

"You must be Petunia," Severus said, getting up to shake her hand.

Petunia only nodded nervously. Well aware her father was watching her, she took Severus' hand, but only for a second and with an expression that made it look like she was not expecting to get it back. 

"Nice to meet you," Severus said, throwing Lily a quick glance which clearly stated 'you were right'.

Petunia didn't answer him, but just hurried over to the corner of the kitchen where the toaster stood. Severus excused himself and left the room. 

"Where was he going?" Petunia asked nervously.

"Oh you know, he has to stick fresh pins in his voodoo dolls every morning," Lily muttered sarcastically. 

John Evans laughed, but Petunia nearly dropped her coffee. 

"I was kidding," Lily sighed.

"Well, he better be on his best behaviour tonight," Petunia said, her voice shaking. "I wouldn't want Vernon to think." 

She stopped at the look her father gave her, and grabbing her coffee and toast she disappeared from the room.

*

Lily and Severus were upstairs in her room when the doorbell rang later that night. 

"Vernon," Lily concluded when she looked out the window. 

"Your sister's boyfriend?" Severus asked, and Lily nodded.

"Fiancée actually," she sighed. "And they're a match made in heaven, just so you're warned."

"This should be interesting then," he smiled. "I'll be right down."

Lily entered the hall just as Vernon was hanging up his coat. She smiled as warmly as she managed at him, and he gave her a sort of nervous grin in return. 

"How are you, Vernon?" she asked.

"Good, good," Vernon hurriedly replied, before adding out of politeness (but clearly with a bit of effort). "And you?" 

"Oh, just fine," Lily smiled. She didn't feel much like giving Vernon an account of the last six months of her life. Luckily, Severus came down the stairs at that moment, and Lily waved him over. 

"Vernon, I'd like you to meet my boyfriend, Severus," she said. "Severus, this is Vernon, Petunia's fiancée." 

Severus reached out his hand. "Nice to meet you." 

Vernon surveyed him with critical eyes. Finally, he took Severus' hand. 

"Nice to meet you too," he practically grunted. 

"Lily," Petunia hissed in her ear. "Mum needs us in the kitchen."

"Of course," Lily smiled. "I'll leave you two to get better acquainted." 

Neither of the boys looked like they liked the idea much.

"How dare you!?" Petunia whispered furiously as she dragged Lily towards the kitchen.

"How dare I what?" Lily asked, well aware of what Petunia meant.

"You, you just can't." Petunia took a deep breath. "You can't just introduce Vernon to Severus like he's a… a… "

"Normal person?" Lily offered.

"Exactly," Petunia nodded. "What'll Vernon think?"

"Oh come off it," Lily snorted. "You've told Vernon I'm a witch long time ago. He's bound to figure out about Severus." 

"Exactly," Petunia hissed. "Isn't it enough with one of you in the family?"

Lily chose to ignore her. 

Dinner was a fairly awkward affair that night. Lily's parents tried to engage both Severus and Vernon in conversation, but Vernon didn't seem his normal, chatty self. He kept grunting nervous replies, and shooting worried looks at Severus, as if he was expecting to be cursed at any moment.

"So, Vernon. How's your family?" Rose asked, in the desperate attempt to get conversation going.

"Good, good," Vernon grunted. "My sister, she's just gone into dog breeding."

"Really?" Severus asked, and Vernon flinched at the sound of his voice. "My uncle works with animals too." 

"He does? What sort?" Vernon asked, seeming glad there was _something_ normal he could talk to this absurd-looking fella about. 

"Dragons," Severus said casually. 

Vernon had just taken a sip of wine, but now it came bursting back out, showering his plate. Both Rose and John had a hard time keeping a straight face, and Lily had to cough into her napkin to hide her laughter. Petunia went pale as a sheet and threw Lily a very nasty look, which Lily was too busy trying to stay serious to take any notice of. 

*

"I don't think Vernon likes me much," Severus said later that night. He and Lily had snuck out into the garden to be alone.

"That's hardly a surprise," Lily smiled. "I did warn you."

"You did," Severus agreed. "But really, I thought you were exaggerating, even if it was just a bit."

"I wish I had been," Lily sighed. "If it's any comfort, my parents seem to like you."

"Well, that's good," he nodded. "Aren't the in-laws supposed to be the worst?"

"I just wish…" Lily's voice trailed off. 

"So do I," he muttered.

*

Severus had just gotten ready for bed that night when there was a soft knock on the door. Wondering who on earth it was, he went to open it. 

"Lily?" 

She grinned, slipping through the open door and kissing him. 

"What are you doing here?" 

"What do you think?" Lily whispered. "Now close the door before someone sees me." 

He did, and while his back was turned to her, Lily slipped her arms around his waist. 

"Don't your parents sleep in the next room?" Severus smiled, turning to face her. 

Lily smiled back. "I had a little fun with this room before you got her. You know, testing my skills…" 

"Clever," Severus muttered, finding her lips. "I guess we'd better investigate how good a job you did."

They lay awake for a while afterwards, Lily's head resting on Severus' chest. 

"So next week, I'm visiting you, right?" she asked.

 "No, not next week," he said hurriedly. "My uncle is there, and" 

"He won't approve?" Lily finished, slightly disappointed. 

"To say the least," Severus muttered. 

"I though what your family would say didn't matter," Lily pointed out. 

"You haven't met my uncle," Severus sighed. "I don't want you to go through what he'd have to say." 

"I put you through Vernon," Lily smiled, and Severus had to smile too. 

"The week after then," she said sleepily. "I'm looking forward to meeting your mum." 

"She's looking forward to meeting you too," Severus lied.

*

Lily was awoken the next morning by a thin ray of sunlight escaping through the crack between the curtains. Severus was still sleeping, and not wanting to wake him, Lily crept quietly out of bed and got dressed. The clock on the wall said it was half past 5. Lily closed the curtains, and snuck out of the room.

She closed the door as quietly as she could, and was about to head back to her own room when someone coughed behind her. She spun around to face Petunia. 

"Well, well, well," her sister triumphed. "Won't mum and dad be pleased to hear about this?"

 "You wouldn't dare," Lily sneered. 

"Oh but I would," Petunia smiled nastily. "Their precious, innocent Lily... You had us all fooled." 

"They won't believe you," Lily said. "They know you'd do anything to make me look bad."

 "I don't have to, you're doing a pretty good job at it yourself," Petunia hissed. "I mean, look at yourself. And this Severus character." She gave a little snort of disapproval. "What are you thinking?" 

Lily slapped her. 

"I never asked your opinion," she said coldly. "I love Severus." 

Petunia flinched. 

"How can you?" she asked. "I mean, if he was anything like Vernon. Or someone else _decent_." 

"Severus is 100 times the man Vernon is," Lily spat, and added with a nasty smile. "Except perhaps in radius." 

She ducked Petunia's hand just in time. 

"Isn't it time you grew out of this magic-nonsense?" her sister asked. "You're 17, Lily. Isn't it time you grew up?" 

"What do you know about me growing up?" Lily countered. "What do you know about anything concerning me? We hardly see each other, and when we do you never speak to me. Let's face it; you don't care." 

"I care when it affects mum and dad," Petunia said. 

"How convenient," Lily spat. "You think I don't care about them? You think I like the fact that I can't do what they've always wanted me to? But this is my life, and I've gotta make the best of it." 

"And Severus is the best, is he?" Petunia asked in disbelief. 

"Yes, he is" Lily said. "If it weren't for him, I wouldn't." 

She stopped. There were some things she would never be able to share with Petunia. 

"Let's face it," she said instead. "You and I are too different to ever get along. I stay out of your life. How about you stay out of mine?" 

Before Petunia could reply, Lily turned and hurried down the hall to her room. Only when she had closed the door did she dare to let her tears flow.

*

Severus crawled back into bed, shaking his head. Lily hadn't exaggerated one bit when she had told him about Petunia. He doubted he'd ever met a more unpleasant human being. And that said a bit, he thought to himself, coming from someone who shared a dorm with Lucius Malfoy. He wondered if he should go check on Lily, she had sounded upset. But on the other hand, he wasn't sure this was a conversation Lily had wanted him to overhear. 

***

_Again, thank you to all my reviewers. _


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